I have decided that you could be a really really good friend, when you want to be, just kidding you could be a really really really really good friend all the time!! You rock. I couldn't believe that you made me go to lunch with you today, that was great. Anyways, so yeah...I'm glad that he is there to talk to, because of the fact that without him I'm not sure I could make it, I know that he understands me a lot more than most, even if he doesn't feel like it. He's really really awesome. I mean that. I don't know...anyways, he helped me with my bestest friend Courtney. He knows what it's like and I appericate him being there, because of the fact that he's been through all of that, and he knows what it's like. So, now I know what I'm going to tell her and be like, because that's going to be for the best. She's a really awesome person, and for something like this to be thrown into to the mix, I completely understand why she would feel the way she feels, I love her to death and she's been there when times are rough for me and all of that, so now I can only return the favor. Only, I'm not going to be there when she's crying and all I can do is offer words of support over the phone, that's going to be really hard, because of the fact that she isn't going to listen in most cases, because she's just that way...you have no idea how hard this is, when push comes to shove I'll just tell her to call Ashley and talk it all over with Ashley, she's been there and done that, more so than me, but we've all been through something in our lives that has changed us dramtically. And if you don't understand why I can't leave the room and go into the study or the lounge, because this convo over this phone could change the world...she is just going to have to get over it, because she hasn't been through anything like this, or at least I don't think she has, is she hiding something so great and grand, I doubt it, because of the fact that they would all have to hide it from me and that's impossible, because they all have big mouths, it's in our nature to be like that...I don't know why, but it is. We all have to have smoething to talk about...always. You don't understand why certain people cry themselves to sleep or just like to nap for hours at a time, just to escape the fear of what is going on in the real world, it's scary that you don't have any fears about your parents or anything like that. It's strange...I don't know how to explain it. You have a picture perfect family...or at least you would. You're lucky and all of that...and you don't understand...I can only imagine all the things that you tell your friends and your family about me...about how you got the crazy roommate that likes to be depressive and a bitch all the time...about how you bet she cuts herself when no one is assuming it...about how everything in my life is always haunting me and that makes me someone that is really dependent on other people, you tell everyone how much you hate me. And that's fine, because in reality, I'm slightly jealous of you and your perfect family...and you're pity little problems, but in reality even though I'm jealous just that little bit, it makes me hate you, because you don't have anything to worry about ever. You're such a skank and I hate you.
Stupid girl and stupid things...I hate you...don't take the fact that bunker is kicking your ass at video games out on me, I wasn't...I was being serious...you wake me up all the damn time. with your little clicking and all that....you're going to hate me when the time comes and I really don't give a flying fuck. I don't. You're a bitch and I hate you.