I encourage all of you to join the link that is my title...haha...I guess it is supposed to be a really cool way to meet people and what not...and you have tons of things...such as: email, forums, games, and what not...I'm just trying to say interested enough to stay occupied with it...becuause I have a serious problem staying occupied...it's really hard. But, whatever...so I'm not doing anything anyway..so anyway this computer is crazy but I guess that it is okay...I dunno...I just wish I dunno...I'm out
So...another day of doing nothing...I mean it to. Well...I've somehow got lured into something...and it's pretty cool...and I like it and what not..it's nice...
1. Tell you I like you. Becuase you are super and stuff...but I mean...yeah
2. Tell you how much I hate you...even thought I don't really hate you...I just wish I could for one moment...just to make everything for me a little bit better.
3. Make everything between me and my family better again...because that would mean a bunch to me
4. Win the lottery...not just so I could buy a huge house or whatever..but to actually be a little more self confident about me making it through college...
5. Start over...that would be nice...I would change a bunch of things...
I like him...
I need to do something...like entraining...something fun exciting out of the orinary...just amazing...but I have no idea what it is...
I never told you guys that I saw my little sisters a couple of days ago...that was really nice just becasue I hadn't seen them in forever...you know?? I just thought that you would like to know...they are one of the things that lets me go on and do what I have to do.
I am so thrilled that me and Courtney are talking again...she is great...I love her to death...she is one of those kick ass friends that you can have fun with and then get down right serious with...that is awesome...haha...
Got to go and do something funny :D
Lovelots
holliejo
Hollie's Thought of the day:
"Need to get manda to send me back that one pic...b/c it seems I deleted it..."
Well...I dunno how much time I have...but that is okay...anyway...so I dunno I'm super happy that me and Courtney are talking again...it is one of the best things in the world...she is one of the only people that know where I'm coming from...that is really nice...to have someone say: yeah...I know...instead: i'm sorry...I dunno what to say...anyway...so I'm here doing nothing...got all my shit straight for school...it's really nice to be able to think that everything is gonna be okay...because there is nothing else like that...I dunno...I think I need some more towels and what not..but other than that...I'm set...I mean I need some dishes but otherthan that...yeah...I mean I have everything set up...and I'm sure that the school will hook me up really nice with some aid...because I mean I'm an honest, hard working, gurl...I'm so sweet it isn't even funny...but anyway...so yeah...I mean I love the fact that I'm sure everything will be okay...I mean if you think about it...I've gotten this far...I can get farther if I just stick it out and actaully start trying harder...I'm really sick of being single and I mean I'm doing really good at trying to not crush on that one boy...I mean I kinda just got rid of him from my life...so that is a good thing...there wasn't a chance for me and him anyway...so it's already July...wow..I can't believe it...I'm gonna be 18 soon...that is just crazy...I doubt I'll get my nose done...or maybe I'll have Manda do it for me...but I dunno...I'm really scared about it...but yeah...I hope I get to go to school...I mean I'm really excited..I set back enough money for me to get my shit off layaway and some more towels...I dunno if I should buy a cheap set of dishes...shall talk to my gram tomorrow about that or uncle rog...I'm serious I have to do this...I mean it...I'm was just really confused about the whole thing for awhile...I mean wouldn't you be?? I would be...I'm not like every other person that knows everything and can just depend on people to get me what I want...I mean I can....but not really...I just can get small things...but you know...
Anyway...so school is over for me...this is always just lurking in the back of my head...sometimes I get this feeling that I'm going back...but then I realize that I'm not...and that is just somehting I have to learn to face...kinda scary and I have to learn to use the past tense in these cases and what not...but I'm sure that I'll be fine after awhile...I mean the one thing that I loved more than anything up to this point in my life came to an end...that is really scary for me...becuase I hate change a lot...and I know you all know this...huh...I dunno...I'm really just out of it...I'm really happy I'm going to the library tomorrow...everything will be okay...I know it...anyway...I'm gonn go get a new template...because I've grown not very fond of this one anymore...I just don't like it...I'm out...
Later Taters...
holliejo
Hollie's Thought Of The Day:
"Dislike my blog"
Well...I haven't posted in forever and seeing that no one is on msn I minus well talk about nothing...well as you may all know I've been thinking about not attending college this fall...the reasons are plain and simple: I don't have enough money. I know that this really stupid considering all of everything...but I'm going to start to get everything straightened out...because that is what I need to do. Everything has gotten me down lately...I mean something to tells me to stay and keep close to all of my friends because I know they really care...although all of them are rooting for me..and I know that a lot of them would be kinda sorta angry at me for not going to college...because I have workd so hard at what I've always wanted to do...and they would kinda think I've given up...and truth be told...I kinda have...because I mean I get down over everything...I mean I do want everything to work out and stuff...but whenever I think about everything being all messed up because of my forms and stuff...it just bothers me...and I just think: I'm not gonna get to go to college this is a bunch of b.s. I'm so sick of everything...I dunno...I mean...but I'm also always thinking about going to college...I'm always on the contradicting myself because of everything...I dunno...I mean even though my roommate is some blonde hair prance around gurl that I know I'll be jealous of and everyone will love her...I mean I still want to go...and she still sound pretty cool...I just don't know...I mean I don't want to go for a sesmester and get told that I don't get to go becasue I didn't pay all my bills...that isn't fair...I mean is it?? I dunno...I just wish that I could rewind a lot of things and make more thing ever better than what they are now or once were...life was so easy not doing anything...sure my family was/is pretty fucked up...but I had tons of things going for me...now I'm stuck at my grandma's in front of a computer all day knowing that I could be expanding my brain and thinking about things...but nope that isn't me...I'd rather be lazy...and that sucks...I dunno...I mean in the end...I think everything will all work out...I got this funny feeling...