I dunno...I'm so sick of everything that it isn't even worth my time to come to my graduation...well because I've changed...and for some reason I don't think that anyone likes the change that I've had. I've realized that no matter what I'm always hollie and stuff and I've never put on a front...I've always done everything my way...and I haven't really changed from that either...I don't expect people to like me and I know you talk about me...but please don't rain on my parade...I've made it and you need to leave me alone...I've worked long and hard on who I am and now I feel like that is getting taken away from me and it pisses me off...I'm just holliejo and I don't expect anything from anyone unless I'm your friend then I expect Respect and I'll give it back to you...I'm just me and if you don't like it then just leave me alone...it's been to long for me to remember the last time I cried and I hate it...but it's people that are angry because of the way I am that hurt me and it makes me horribly sad to see that people don't see me the way I am...I'm so sock of it...and I hate you for everything you've done to me...you've fucked me up and now there's no making me better. This is me now and won't be me tomorrow.
Just thinking...just got to school and it rocks because I only have to go for about a half of a day....this rocks...everyone notices when I'm gone...and I'm thinking this is a positive.
Anway...I highly doubt anyone reads my blog anymore...I mean I really like it and what not and it is a good way to just relax an stuff...because there is nothing more I like to do than to type...I love to type...typying is like the best thing...anyway...maybe I can call Ashley or something to talk to her because I would really like to talk to her sometimes...I mean she's super and more grown up than a lot of people and stuff...and that's super cool but other than that...I mean she said I could look at her pictures and stuff...but whatever...Slade...Slade is like the hottest guy in the whole freaking world and it is great...anyway..so my blog..my blog really doesn't have anything interesting on it...besides maybe the ocassional: I really don't have feelings for Nic anymore...and how crazy is that?? I mean for really...I barely talk to him anymore and that's fine and what not..b.ut I seriously don't...I was talking about it with Amanda last night and she's all like whatever holliejo you still like him and that's all there is to it...and I'm like no...no really I don't...I don't think I do...I saw him today...and I was like: nope...don't really...so that's pretty cool...but whatever...there's nothing and that's awesome.
So...on to another boy...the stupid German boy...yes I can't believe that I really told him off like I did...it was awesome I read my letter to him last night and I was like: holy junk I was mean...but whatever...I thought that it needed to be said...there is really no one here that is worth my time...I mean all the boys here see me as someone that they are really good friends with and that's it...I mean I could never have a super cool boyfriend...that's what college is going to be for...by the way that means I have to read some stuff for that...but whatever...I mean I'm sure that I'll be fine...but yeah...Stefan I blocked him and I gave him a horrible email and stuff...so that rocks...I can't believe that I really did it...I mean it is one of those things that you just have to do and that I'll regret in like a week and stuff because of everything and I know that in my heart that one day everything will be cool with us but until then I'm just going to sit back and enjoy every second I get to be single because there is nothing l like more than that...because I really dunno...I just don't and I'm prutty sure everything will be oaky and what not....but oh well...you know.
Okay now on to family life with like 5 min. remaining...family life is nice and what not...but yeah...I mean my Uncle I think is MIA between here and Florida...which is horrible...my mom had her final thing yesterday...I think they make us see each other and send me to counseling...but that is fine considering everything will be alright I ask for the one that can get me meds. My brothers...haven't seen them all day...but guess that they are doing okay...I just really wish I could know what was going on in their heads for like 2 hours...just to know what they really do thinkg..I mena that's all...because you know...that kind of bothers me when I dunno...but yeah....nothing else...got to get some annoucements done because of everything...but I'm sure that'll be fine...but whatever...party is June 13, 2004 2-5...I'm sure that if you read this blog that you're invited...I mean if you know me...but whatever...I'm out...gradutation in a month and 2 days
well...the weekend..as many of you all know is over. And that means I'm home...which is okay because well besides being overly tried and what not it means I know longer have to hear my little cousins screaming every twenty seconds. Isn't that just great?? Anyway...the weekend was tons of fun and what not and stuff and I did have lots of fun...but I'm super tried and worn out...my back hurt and my legs and my head. This moring we're were at a stop light and this is a true story...and the light turned green...my aunt didn't realize it was greeen and I forgot what green meant...so I get back home at quarter after 8...I mean for really we should of slept in a little longer...cuz I'm like freaking out...my head feels like we are still in the wave pool and I'm surprised my fingers are working at the pace they are...there is only a month and three days until I graduate...my aunt can't come and that pisses me off...but whatever...okay let's talk Kalahari...the Kalahari was tons of fun and what not...there was this totally hot geeky boy that I think I fell in love with...but oh well...gots to go..