I don't righlty know...but this feeling came over me...this feeling of hate, love, fear, courage, and any other set of opposite feelings. I'm condricting myself...I don't know why I just feel like I should. Plus, I've been thinking...someone is gone it has been awhile now, but you are still here. I just want you to know: I love you lots. I miss you tons. And most of all: the samll things you told me, weren't much, but you touched me then and that is what counts.

I love you

Holliejo

Hollie's thought of the day:
"Bad things happen to good people, and the fact is someone up there is trying to tell us...we aren't in control...never were...never will be."

Good times my friends good times...all is well in Hollie's house of love...she is never letting this one go.

A-is for although, cuz there are so many of them
B-is for books, cuz I love them so much
C-is for Cody, my wonderful brother
D-is for Dogs, cuz I want 2
E-is for Elephant, cuz that's my favorite word
F-is for fine, cuz that's how I feel.
G-is for GO, cuz that's what I said
H-is for Hollie
I-is for Ice Cream
J-is for Jump
K-is kicking
L-is for loving
M-is for MATRIX
N-is for no
O-is for options
P-is for popcicle
Q-is for queen
R-is for Reading
S-is for sexy
T-is for Tylor
U-is for uncycle
V-is for vulgur
W-is for watermelon
X-is for...i dunno
Z-is for we's all done

I have new hope for nothing. Just thought you ought to know.

Waiting for you long and hard, yet you never seen to come when I really need you.

I'm just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I just can't do anything anymore. I don't know what to do!!!!!!!! I'm just so tired. I'm going to play The Sims soon..but can't because I'm waiting to talk to someone.

Oh did you know my two favorite sounds are the sounds of the keyboard and the soud of football helemets hitting on the line [oh my god those sounds make me happy]!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe everything that I'm saying to someone but I would like to make an outright apology to my friend...for we are trying for the ump-teenth time...but we are going to work on our friendship and I hope that this time we will be fine.

Okay...so I just want everyone to know that I want to study abroad my junior year in college and go to London. I think that would be so cool...honestly. I would just love to travel somewhere...like the saying "Anywhere but here!"

Okay...so I'm going to say this: I'm going to college and school starts Sept. 2, 2003...and ends May 14, 2003. Soooo during my summer I don't know what I'm going to do...cuz my parents aren't letting me back into the house???? So I'm planning on getting my bartender's liencse after I turn 18 so I can work on the weekends and some days during the week. So that is the plan...but I dunno if it would work. But that is what I'm going for.

Okay...get this...my dorm room is like tiny...i don't know what I'm going to do. Never in my life have I had to share a room...now look I'm going to have to share it with someone I barely know...that is really scary on my part.

Later Taters:

Hollie's thought of the day:
"I really miss you and I want nothing more than to say hi."

Everyone is going home, but I'm very please with Ashley's "Birthday Party" I must say everything was great.

Well I must say school sucks and stuff...but I'm not getting much done. I gave up with everything, okay. So the things I gave up on:
1) Geometry
2) Spanish
3) Everything else I'm too lazy to talk about. So that means everything is gone and I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just do there is no nothing else. I don't understand my math, I don't understand Spanish, and I really don't under say Psych. I'm just lost and confused and twisted and used. There is nothing for me to do. I don't even have ambition to do my blog. Of course I think I'm going to get rid of my blog, because I find no use for it

Later Taters

Hollie's thought of the day:
"I have nothing to say, just blah."

Boy...I tell you everyone is different, but I'm just Hollie. I've been thinking this: if you are a pumpkin then you are orange. Just a thought. Must go now...doing nothing.

Well…today is another day. I must say that it is just a day in the life. I wonder though I have nothing much to blog about. I really don’t. But…I must say this I wish I had someone that read the same books as me, and did other things like me. Do you realize that:
1) Every time you read a book your mind grows a little more
2) You are spending time reading and making something out of the hours you could of watched television
3) I think that if you read you will have something to talk about when a conversation is going nowhere
4) If you read you will have something to think about instead of “When is the next episode of South Park on???”
5) Your mind will become something and will enable you to think about other things than stuff
6) I think that you can learn writing styles from reading
7) I was able to grow and learn to write from books
8) It is just something that more people should do [and some say they do and never do it], but never do
9) I read because it is so much better than killing brain cells

Okay…so there is my bunch of information on reading. I mentioned this because there is no one [okay almost] that reads like I do. I read this book where a knife could cut into different universes??? I read the Harry Potter books and fell in love [more like an obsession]. I read Sharon Chreech books about crazy families and stuff. I just love to read and no one else does!!! I just wish there was something more to this life than people drinking and smoking pot. I mean I’m not against, but no for it. And it doesn’t change my view on people. I just wish there was someone that I could relate to here, but there isn’t. I try not to think about it, but every time I mention the books I read people laugh or say “Okay Hollie come back to reality now.”

Okay so that is my blog for the day…and I really think that it said nothing what so ever. But, yes this it my friends.

Later Taters

Hollie’s thought of the day:
“I have to get the Pendragon books!!!!”

I love my kazoo. And Courtney has a themeteteror. We are having fun...must go.

I guess I have a wonderful fan out there that shares his/her thoughts with everyone. I don't know who you are or what you are trying to do to me. I want you to know that I may be moving to somewheres else, but you will have to wait and see. I'm not a freak and I know that I need help [but in my case it isn't major]!!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad others read my blog and stuff...but if you really think it is that wierd or something, don't read it. These are SOME of the thoughts that run through my head...and most of the time there is more to them than what you read. Although...I would enjoy meeting you cuz I would kick you then punch you...and of course yell.

I'm telling you this...not because I'm fueling the fire, but because I'm confronting my fears and letting you know...well I don't know because I have to go do my Geometry.

Later Taters

Hollie's thought of the day:
"Nothing much, but little concern for the unknown"

Well...that blog before was something that I felt was nessary. But I must say that now I'm okay with everything. But I'm slightly scared since someone read my blog and might of assumed something. I want you to know that whatever is on my blog take it for what it is worth...or nothing at all. I just want everything to be okay with all my friends and stuff.

I'm very confused at the moment...so I think I will go and do something now...thinking of that...nothing is going on.

LoveLots:
Holliejo

Thought of the Day:
"Everything is good in the school...but the fact stands...please don't be offeneded by my blog and assume anything"

Me and you against the world. Yeah…well I think you kicked me off that train. And now you are the one making headway, forgetting all about our little happiness, that we were something that very few people understood. Little did you know…you understood me in every way possible. You knew when I was lying, you knew when I wanted to cry. Yet, now you are leaving that all behind to become something. I don’t want to know what that something is…or what it will become. All I know [or feel for that matter] is that I lost a friend. A true friend, not something that will leave me because I’m this way or that. I have a friend that understands that I’m Hollie and I feel totally different about everything. Hollie is something magical in her words. I feel happy when I have a pen and paper, but sad when I everything a girl my age could almost wish for. She understood me and made my life into something. Now I’m the girl on her own discovering something on her own, I’m the girl that wants to fit in, and I’m the girl who has things on her mind that only crazy people think about. But, I’m happy for that girl in a sense, because that girl has others [not just me] to lean on…I couldn’t always be there for that friend. I knew I that…and in a sense I think she did too. I knew that one day she would discover something new…something made up of her dreams that only she could uncode…something that made her different. And for about 30 seconds I understood her. Of course…she is so much more that she says she is…and she knows that. Her magic in writing makes the simple falling of a leaf into something beautiful and becoming. I will never be able to do that. I know that now. I will always be me…I know now that. I want to say thank you. For you helped me discover that I’m Hollie always was and will always be. I really am. I know now that when I finally realize that I’m really grown up and that I’m really something more than this…I will be happy because it was in me the whole time. I feel that this entry is something more than just that: an entry. I feel this is me at my peak and only now I will fall into a great black hole. I will need someone there to catch me before, because I can feel that there is no turning back after I jump.

I’m printing this off so I have something to be proud of. I’m leaving it all behind though too. I can’t say “no longer”, but I can say something is going to change. I can feel it within my body. Something is going to come out soon. I feel it building I can feel it coming now up my throat and through my mouth. But, wait…there is nothing, nothing now but tears. Tears of joy, anger, happiness, sadness, any emotion that can take place in my mind is here…coming out into something that is more than I could ever imagine. I don’t know where all this is coming from…there is no thought of the day…just the many thoughts that run trough my brain and out into the keyboard. I can feel everything in my head. I want to run and do something more, but I can’t. I feel blocked and unloved. For now I will be fine, but I can’t say why. I really can’t. What is this feeling I feel? I want to know…but I must say I love you. He just came to me…and right now I would like to do nothing, but see him and tell him how I feel. But I can’t say in complete sentences…it is more like little words between the deep sighs and sharp intakes of breath that make me choke. I don’t know how I feel about him…but I know I love him. Too many things are going on right now for me to continue. But I feel obligated that I have too. I have to make sure Everyone knows how I feel, that there is more to me than just this “empty” shell and giggles. I’m Hollie and that is just something in its self.