I managed to hang out with one person, just one person, specifically one guy. Yes, this is the same thing, another person in my calendar.

Do you think I'm better off alone? Even though for me to even consider being alone for the next month of my life or however long it takes to find someone? I mean I have tons of fun doing my own thing, doing what I like and making out with a new guy almost every week. I like thinking they could think I'm pretty or even I like to think that I may just have some kind of chance with them. It would be a nice thought and all of that, but I don't know how much of all of that is reality. I mean...do you know? Of course you don't know, but if you did...would you metion something to me? I would hope soo...I wish I knew what exactly is going on in my head. I mean I can only think and control so much of what I'm doing...other times everything just goes to the wayside and fun and no thought of tomorrow lurks in and everything goes to hell.
If you were me for an hour or two...and a cute guy with glasses, smelled good, was smart, funny, was talking in a british accent and countless other things that you just seemed to have noticed, his only downfall: dirty shoes. This is it. Now you're me and I'm no one, this guy hints to you to come to his room with you. It's 1230am Saturday morning/Friday night...what do you do? You have no commitment anywhere to any guy and this guy seems to have it all...what now? Do you follow? Well, if you were me you could and you would like it a lot, too. But, after this all falls apart, like you know it will. Because you lost that thought about everything for like 15 minutes because he was still sinking in. But, then you start to think about how he's slowly moving in on you...or how in the next 10 minutes it goes from tickling to slowly moving in for the kiss. Or how everything you thought you knew or assumed about him is gone. How does that work? This guy, who I just met...I mean I talked to him for like 5 minutes max.Or longest conversation was about how I wanted his Ice Cream?!? How does that work? This guy came from that guy, to someone completely different. I mean...I went from that to making out with this guy...I mean I liked it and I'm not complaining, but you have to think about how that happened and why could it have happened. We both agreed it was for shits and giggles, but really...was it? I want to wish and think that it wasn't, but I know deeep down it probably was. But, things aren't awkard. He smiled and said Good Morning today. That was a plus. But, anyway, back the subject. Okay...so here you are almost making out with this guy, you know it's coming, but your consious isn't letting you think about it, because otherwise you'll stop. So, from tickling to him getting close to you...both of you turning at the right time and all of sudden...yes it happens. You don't know who kissed who, but now you are full on making out with him. Your hands slowly moving up into his hair and all you can think about is how great this feels and the fact that he's a great kisser. But, then, because you're me, it sinks in...and you realize what your doing and you have to push him off of you and you have to talk ot him about everything...you come to find out it's for shits and giggles and nothing is going to happen because he doesn't have any condoms. Okay, so you can still be a tease, and you're not going to be doing anything extreme...this is good. But, then consious slips away again, because you realize nothing can happen, and he's cute...what can you do? What would Hollie Jo do? She's going to kiss him again, because she's a tease and she wants to see how far this is going to get before anything major happens. This time he's up her shirt...the one time she's happy about her big breast...or what she thinks is big enough breasts for her. This is the only thing she thinks about, until she gets bored with it and stops him again. But, of course, pleasure is worth all of the pain she's about to find out when he reassures her that is just for shits and giggles. She doesn't want to think about it, and she really ought to be going to bed. He's already told her to stay before all of this started, but then he knows that she has to go to bed, and that it is for shits and giggles. Wouldn't want any of the other guys finding out.
Flash Forward to the next day. It isn't awkard and everything is awesome for the two of them. He smiles and says hi. And all of that. It's amazing how it would appear that nothing has changed. They have gotten closer that is the only thing that is apparent to anyone watching them. A causal hey..what's up? Nothing...I've got to go. But, it's sitting there lurking inside of her...something. It's supposed to be awkard...always awkard. She did nothing with the boy from the week before and they didn't talk for a week...what is this new thing...she wasn't used to this. Why wasn't it awkard for the two of them? It should have been, but it wasn't. Is this is a good thing or a bad thing. So, now she's worried and by some sort of amazing feeling she lets it get awkard. She ruins this great new thing by not being able to smile or even walk by his room. Walking all the way around the wing to visit his neighbor. Everyone knows what happned, but no one is going to give him shit, because his a football player, but they can give her shit, because she's her. But, you know...they want her to go and talk to him about everything...make sure that everything is okay. I mean you kind of have to, but then if you think about it...you could let this float on like the week before. I mean everything just floats away. The boy from the week before was nothing, but then the week before that...that was something...she let it float on...which is good. Then her "ex boyfriend" she let him float on and on and he's not coming back, although she did try once. It's okay though...because she's wanting something with this one...the guy that made her not want to find someone new for this Friday, because she wants to hang or at least see and talk to him this Friday, because that's what normal people do. They don't go and find someone new to kiss and have them hold you every week. Some actually try to make something work out of these random make out sessions and that's what she finally wants, but she is too scared to admit it and think about it...what is she to do?

Everything is going a lot better than expect, it turns out that I'm learning a lot more than I thought I would be, I mean I do my homework, well I look at my homework and think that I'm not going to do it, so that's better than not even looking at my homework. But, whatever. I'm good for now. I'm going to work on some homework for now. I miss everyone keep your fingers crossed for me. I want to come ever so badly.
holliejo :)

1) Your shoes...boys you gotta have nice clean shoes. Doesn't matter what brand they just gotta appeal to me. But, oh man...hottness with the shoes.
2) Your smell. Oh man. Tommy, Hugo, Adidas, Polo, you name it I might just know it. Oh man, a guy gottsa smell just tasty for me to like em.
3) If you play the drums. Oh man...such a major turn on. Oh man like a major turn on. So hot. No explaination. Just so hott.
4) If you play video games. That's a major awesome turn on. I'm talking PlayStation, XBox, Nentendio, everything and anything...that's what you have to play. I love it.
5) If you're a computer geek. Oh such a major turn on. I don't know why, but it is.
6) If you're a dork. Oh man...oh man...just the way you're all dorky and cute and funny all in one at the same time...so cute...ever so cute.
7)Umm...I can't think of anymore...but you just have to be able to kiss my neck...oh man...soo nice. yummy yummy yummy...I'm horrible.

I try but I can't seem to get myself to think of
Anything but you
Your breath on my face, your warm gentle kissI taste the truthI taste the truth
You know what I came here for
So I won't ask for moreI wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one who's in your arms, who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you
So I'll hold you tonight like I would if you were mine
To hold forever more
And I'll savor each touch that I wanted so much
To feel before
To feel before
How beautiful it is
Just to be like this
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one who's in your arms, who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you (I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you
Oh, baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore
It drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name, take my hand
Can you make my wish, baby, your command
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you (I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with youI wanna be with you, yeah(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be, I wanna be with youI wanna be, I wanna be,
I wanna be
I wanna be with you
I wanna be baby, I wanna be with youI wanna be
I wanna be, I wanna be (I wanna be with you)
I love this song more than almost any other song, beside Crush. Yeah...they are my top 2 songs. For really for truly. I *heart* it. A lot.

Sleepy.
Tired.
Sick.
Cranky.
This is all...there's nothing more to say, right now I'm just typing to type. Oooo I'll go play whatever that game is called.
http://games.yahoo.com

ojeilloh88: mmk there's this guy named Bunker (nickname) and I told him about me and Kai making out or whatever...so today here's how it went:
Hollie: Hey Bunker!
(no answer)
Hollie: Bunker!
Bunker: Hey Hollie. How's Kai.
(Bunker is 3 rooms away from Kai's)
Hollie: Bunker you Bitch! Shut the fuck up or I'll have to come and kick your ass.
Bunker: Oh yeah..and then what go see Kai?
Hollie: (goes to see bunker): Is Kai here? B/c if he is I'm seriously gonna kill you.
Bunker: yeah, and he's doors open.
Hollie: Fuck...(he's at football practice)
Bunker: haha...it was pretty good.
Five Min. later
Hollie: Bunker I"m not mad anymore.
Bunker: Ok...where's Kai?
Hollie: I dunno...over there (points to random person)
Bunker: oh...well if you see him...he told me he wants a kiss.
Hollie (blushes b/c Bill is with him and I'm yelling from 3rd story window): mmk will do. Bunker you bitch. talk to you later.
This is the daily life of Hollie. When she isn't doing homework, attending classes, or going to work. It's pretty nice being me down here. I like it. I mean I wish that I could, as stated above, do whatever I was doing. But, whatever. I don't know. It's all good.

On another subject I have been sick for the last 2 days. I didn't go to work today, because my nose is really bad. I went to bed at like 1130 and didn't wake up till 9 after the alarm went off. I was pissed off. Then our Prof. told us that we didn't have to come to class b/c it's flue season so I'm like: what the fuck. I actually came to class today only to be told that I really don't have to be in class. Oh man what the hell is that shit? I wish that I could

Sick Sick Sick. This is all...I'm going to eat food I can't taste...what a waste of money...I'll get over it. Went to class today...freaking a I'm behind.
holliejo :)

I have to do homework. Homework isn't any fun at all. But, hanging out with cute drunk boys is. You pick what you would do and get back to me. :)

I really hope that I wasn’t snoring. I mean I was sleeping lightly and I’m sure that someone or something would have waked me up. When you use your world geo. book for a “blanket” you’ve got something wrong with you. I don’t really learn anything in geo. so after lunch I’m going home to take a really long nap okay so like an hour nap. Basically if you haven’t figured it out: I’m sick. I think I got something from Allison. So I’m really freaking angry about that. I mean she should have slept more and drank more juice instead of doing things with the girls. She was up later than I was sometimes. How in the world can you function like that? I went and got myself a juice this morning (Cranberry Grape Minute Maid). I did I did. It cost me a 1.25 and it was good, but from Concentrate. I wanted to sleep for the longest time and Europe is so boring (no not really) that I just fell asleep. You now how pissed off I am about not being able to sleep somewhere. I don’t wanna go to my one class. I can still taste stuff…I go by that…if I can taste I’m good, but if I can’t then I’m screwed. I just thought of something, this better copy and paste into blogger or I’ll have to do it on myspace and hi5. Oh, the hi5 is totally rocking down here…everyone loves to hi5…everyone! It’s great! *hi5* you know you wanna…hmm…lemme think *does this bold things* it does in world. So yeah…I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I know I have class in like a half hour. I don’t really want to go, but I have to.
I have a question if a guy likes you would he put his head on your shoulder? I would assume so, correct? But, if he wanted to get some would he do the same thing? Like 4 times within the two hours you two talked? Hmm…this is the question. Or does he just wanna make it look that way? Hmm…I don’t really know him so it’s a possibility for the both of them. But, I’m hoping for the first because Courtney said that she was suddenly interesting in this “guy” and I’m like: yeah…he’s pretty cool and I like him. I mean I don’t like him like oh man I want him I need him. I like him…well I kinda have this semi crush on him and it’s really great, because he’s so cute, just ever so cute. You know how it is. When guys are soo cute. You can’t really resist them because they are so cute. I mean I can’t. I don’t know about all of you, but I can’t. My roommate said that I need to hook up with him (not like that, but a serious hook up) and then she still has to meet him. He’s like this mysterious cutie…holy balls I just spelled mysterious right. I’m really proud of myself. Anyway… I have nothing else to say, but I mean this is a lot to say in a little space of time for I’ve only been typing for like 9 minutes. Ugh…I’m starting to feel sick again…I hope I don’t have the flu or something. I don’t know what I have or what I don’ have…I could go to the school nurse but I’m not that bad. So I’m not that worrieda bout it, but what can you do? I don’t know…I mean there’s nothing really that I can do about it, but just try to get better within the end of the week. There could be a really big surprise coming up. =) I hope that you watch and wait, because it’ll totally rock if it happens. You know this too. Because that would mean a day with you and you would totally freak out and be hella happy about everything and then you would be too…and hell I might just go to visit someone else. This isn’t going to be a surprise, because I can never ever keep my mouth shut so that can’t be good. I wonder how many words this is. I’m typing in Microsoft Word. I know that I should be studying (717 words) but I’m not. And then I’m actually going to go home and sleep from like 1230-2ish?? I think. Because I just don’t really feel well. Only I’m not sleeping in my loft…maybe I will…but I doubt it. I mean I have to risk my life once a day anyway getting up into that loft. I hope it rains tonight or tomorrow night, I made a really big mess with my ice cream last night. Aww well…I feel soo stupid with what I did last night. I was pissed off at my freaking ice cream. It is like the best ice cream in the world and it got to the foamy melty stage. Oh I was pissed off. You can’t really stick it back in the freezer because it won’t harden properly and you can’t eat it because it’s foamy and melted. So, I the dumbass that I am tipped it upside down and wait (on purpose) for it to drop out. Because I was that freaking pissed off. So now there is ice cream splatter on the cement and it looks really bad. Only I don’t really feel that bad, but then I do. I don’t want to come and sit on the bench anymore. I don’t know. And then Daunte oh he pisses me off royally. Oh I hate him. They are always giving me shit about Kai. Oh freaking well what happened between Kai and me. It’s fine. It’s really super de duper. No one has to freak out because of what happened. No one. Why does everyone have to make such a big deal out of it thought that is the question. I mean I did nothing wrong in the first place. And then everyone thinks that I gave him head or that I boned him. No, none of that happened. On a scale from one to ten.1-Holding hands
2-Cuddling
3-Kiss
4-Making Out
5-Making out feeling above clothes
6-Making out feeling under clothes
7-below the belt
8-really below the belt
9-wow below the belt
10-I’m gonna sex you up. ßinside joke.
Okay…so this scale is really bad, and I know where to get a scale. So I might have to do that. Anyway…so on this scale I was a 6. Oh well…it’s fine. Nothing below the belt or I would have told you. The kissing was great and I’m such a tease (hence the reason for the six) so all of you just need to calm down, because I’m either stopping this crap or just not telling anyone, because it’s not worth my time. And if I do continue to do this it’s only going to be with one person, because that means that I’m not really a slut, but I’m still doing something wrong. Because being naughty is fun, but being a whore is very sluttish and sluttish isn’t really all that fun if you think about it. Because it turns out that things travel very fast. For instance: they know what happened on third someone got to second and that person on second told someone on first. So, now 3 out of the four floors in Pickard know a little something something about what happened with me and Kai what they made up and what was really talked about are two completely different things, but the fact that there could be rumors bothers me, but I’m not really worried about it. I hope that Kai isn’t too worried, but then why would he do his little winky thing at me this morning? Hmm…yeah! What now! Booyah bitches.

I can't believe this. God Fuckin Damn It. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit (and for your info copy and fucking paste doesn't work in the window I'm typing in). Shit Shit Shit Shit. I hate myself for telling people. That's not gonna get me anywhere. I don't know what to do. Fuck. This is all.