I knew I was getting into something when I answered the phone to a drunken boy. What to do what to do? Luckily this druken boy didn't want anything to do with me, well I'm pretty sure he did, but I just like to pretend that everything's fine for right now...anyways, so I answered the phone and we got to talking, and we weren't saying much, and then his friend grabbed the phone away from him and started to talk to me. I'm glad to say that they both had there choice words in the matter and what not, and it got me to thinking. Either he wants me for a piece of ass, or maybe just maybe, he misses me and wants to have another go. See, this is the thing. The way it sounded is that he does miss me and want another chance, but then with boys you just never know. And then another thing is that his friend said some things about me that pissed me off and what not, and that wasn't very cool, I was a little more than angered about that. So, then on top of everything I get to thinking maybe this wouldn't be such a bad idea, you know? Like actaully try things out again, I mean he's not gonna see me like all the time and he's not doing anything that is going to majorly change his life if he gets back with me. So, things might actually work out this time, but now the question is...can I get to this house that they are all talking about? Because you know this is a party and what not...and I guess I'm supposed to be there and I'm supposed to bring some friends and what not. But, out of all my friends who likes the geeky/band guys? NO ONE! Because all my friends are losers! j/k. But, I dunno...it's kinda of hard and what not...not having a means of transportation and all, that kinda sucks. But, yeah maybe I'll walk. I know I'm risking getting lost and all of that, but at least this time I'd be smart enough to wear sneakers! :) hahaha. But, yeah everything seems to be going really good with everything, but you see I don't know about that one person. I'm just really nervous that we're not gonna get along, I'm really really trying really I am, this is no joke like you would think it would be, it's more of something that is really trying to be resolved, you know I didn't miss her or anything, but I mean now that I see her I don't think that she really missed me either, which is fine and all, but I don't know...it's really kind of hard with all of this...hmm...okay so here's the other deal...I want to get along with her! Woopee! Anyways, I don't know what to do, I think that I'll try things with him and what not and I'm sure that it'll all work out it always does for me sometimes, I hope it works out this time, I have no money for booze, so he'll just have to not have my drunk, which I don't know if that would be any fun or not...hmm...this sucks dick.

I haven't posted all this break, but lemme tell you nothing has really happened that has changed anything...I'm still same ol holliejo and nothing is going on and it kinda sucks...you know? Anyways, so I don't have anything to say just that I'm still gonna post like a mad lady, but after I work and after I get everything taken care of when I start classes and shit...so this means: less posting but more of whatever I don't usually do...hmm...I'm starting to think of things that could change and what not...but I don't know how far they will go. I'm only hoping and that's it!

Everything is gonna be alright, in so many ways...but first...here's a little something something for your enjoyment....
I'm a genius. Well maybe not genius, but at least Rocket Scientist status. And I think that SS is the most adorable thing ever created. Not it that "I want to lay you down on the nearest flat surface and do ungodly things to your body," but in a "I want to cuddle with you and stay up all night watching Napolen Dynomite with you." seriously.

right. here's to--
--disney monopoly. and ashley buying random properties and then realizing half way through the game that she can't build any castles.
--teaching Hollie how to flick a cigarette
--making peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches on my bedroom floor while discussing the different kinds of milks and wheat bread vs. white bread.
--making SS take a "important, and very helpful" survey, which consisted of questions such as, but not limited too, "do you like watching cows in the middle of november," and "would you prefer to be the purple or red telletubby?"
--lingo.

quote of the night: "I bought you a delicious bass."

good times my friend, good times.

Anways...everything is gonna be alright because:

1. I still have a job, I got a shift change thing in my junk email thing on Jan 8th...this means that everything is gonna be alright, b/c that's for the berst...hahaha, how awesome is that? I mean that. I still have a job, I'm going to get my grades up and I mean...everything is gonna be okay...
2. He still looks amazing. Yes, amazingly hott. Yes yes yes. You know this too. I mean that. If you ever saw him like I did...you'd drool too. He is amazing. I think I miss him and still care way to much. But, *shrugs* whaddaya gonna do? I ean that...there's not really anything you can do.
   
3. I heard the PEP BAND!! baby. Yeah THAT'S RIGHT!! all y'all are all jealous of the mad facts that holliejo heard her band WITH HER BOYS! (Patrick, Stefan (even though he doesnt like admitting that I'm one of his peeps), *sighs...* Nic *big smile!*, and umm...NICK! yes yes yes...I have stopped calling him penis)) but that is for really for truly I have seen them all! It rocked!
   
4. Danger Zone. 'nough said.
5. He emailed me...and he said that he missed me. It's kinda nice seeing as I looked like a semi ran me over and I was on my cell phone the whole time chatting it up with my friends. *Shrugs...* Oh well. It's all good I suppose. I hope I get to see him again.
   
6. I realized that everything is gonna be alright...even if in the end I don't get to be with any of 'em. I dunno how to word this, but I guess it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I mean that. I dunno...I still really miss all of 'em but whaddaya gonna do? There ain't much that can be done...
7. I realized that I dunno if we are gonna make it through all of this. I mean that. This isn't part of the "everything is gonna be alright scheme" this is a part of "Oh junk...what if??" I mwean that...She is like my bestest friend and I can't have it all fall apart. I mean that. I haven't gotten this far without her, and I don't think I can get all the way without her, she is my best friend and that's all that counts. I dunno...it's just really really hard.

I'll post more when I get back to school :) If I'm not working too much!