Last blog on the laptop, at one in the morning...should be sleeping this I know, but I'm not, for I had a long night. There was a horrible tornado about 20 minutes away and what not and for those that don't know what I live in: it's a cute little ugly ass twinkie aka a moblie home...it sucks ass...but whatever anyway...so I also have a fear of storms so I'm freaking out having an anxiety attack fearing that I'm gonna get all blown away an what not...it's a bad time but whatever...I wonder how warm it'll be tomorrow...but anyway...dur sorry about that...so that was a bad time and all I wanted to do was to get on the internet...of course go figure yeah?? Anyway...I hope Matt gets my email by the time he checks it...oh man :S I really really really really hope soo...anyway...so tomorrow is a big day...really big day...I have to do paper work in the morning when I wake up and what not...fill out tons and tons of it...and then go somewheres with Matt then I'm going to Amanda's and telling Mr. Rice how it is and that the fact that Manda and Me have to totally hang out for awhile!! Because I'm leaving!!! He'll totally understand...but then...while I'm doing that all I'll be thinking about is how that's gonna be the last time I see him in forever...and the same with Matt... This is soo freaking crazy...it's like the end of everything...I hate endings...and I hate beginnings I like the time in the middle, where you're over the fact that the beginning is over, but the end is no where in sight...that's what I like...and I realize that that'll be a far off time for me...I'm just scared that with everything that is happening now that I won't get home as much as I want...but I have to I just have to...I had no idea how much one place could mean so much to you. It's amazing...I'm gonna miss it...ever so much...but this is for the best.

I'm so proud of myself for coming this far. I really am and anyone that thinks that I'm not gonna make it and fuck things up, because of whatever reasons just needs to give that shit up, because I'm Hollie and that's something. I have this power not to be dealt with. I'm a bitch. I'm everything you fear when you piss me off. And that's just what Evan did. But, Evan didn't know that while he was hurting me and telling me I couldn't do it he was really fueling my fire even more. All those times he told me he "loved me like his own daughter" could have been true and his ways could have been reverse whatever it is that I can't spell...but I doubt it. I have no idea why I just gave him the benefit of the doubt he never did for me. But, that's fine because one day I'll get to rub it in his face...and then I'll do nothing but laugh...or cry or laugh and cry or laugh and cry and run away quickly screaming: YOU NO GOOD ROTTEN BASTARD!!! or whatever I feel like which could vary depending on the day...God, I hate him.

Mr. Rice...that's all. I can't say anymore without thinking about everything. I hope that he'll remember me and give me hell about everything down the road, because that's what I plan to do to him. Man, he's super old and he's got the best comb over going for him, he's the bloody best and don't nobody say otherwise!! I'll be kicking your ass. He knows that I can do it. He gave me the go ahead just a few weeks back. I told him I wanted to stay here forever and he looked at me and said, "No, Hollie, you've been here long enough. It's your time." And with that, I smiled and said thank you and also made a joke. I know that if Mr. Rice says that I'm ready, that I am. And to be ready means that I can do it and do it well. And, so Mr. Rice helps me out sooo much with my confidence to become him. I'm his successor, be scared. :) No no no...not really...he's the best and what not...and I'll never forget him. Down redfjeioareday Set. And then me: "damn it Penis it's down ready set not some gibberish ftw?? do you have going on?" Also, "This year in Modern US History we'll be discussing the JFK assassination, followed by the theories and the conspiracies that followed in the years to come. This will take up us to the semester. And the following Sesmester will be discussing the conspiracies in much more depth. As you all know, I figured it out. For I killed JFK in the previous life, but they can't charge me with it...and they can't kill me either...hahahahaha bless our horribly crooked government." That is my life wrapped up in a nutshell...I can't wait. I didn't realize my dream would ever include something like this, but then I look back at the last four years of my life and think, "there's nothing more than I want that what I just described." I love Mr, Rice as a teacher and respect him more than any thing in the world. That's how we got so far, because even though it didn't seem like I respected him all that much, it was there and he knew it.

I get the butterflies. How great is that?? That's super great. But, I haven't told him, because then they'll go away...so if you're reading this...don't bring em up, just make more of em!! *giggles* <-----See!! I don't know...I can't really make him sound as great as Mr. Rice, but he is...in a different way...hahahahahahaha....It's great...I'm soo happy. I don't wanna sound clingy and I don't wanna get all clingy, but it's just wow...that's all and I can't explain it in words, which is prolly crazy, because I'm soo good with them when I'm thinking about it. But, yeah it's a great feeling I don't want it to go away.

Oh. And while we are on this subject. I have fallen behind in my hip-hop/rap/R&B. Yes, Hollie Jo, the one that wrote a rap her junior year, the one that wore a "do rag" to school for homecoming her senior year, the one that you can ask "what song is this??", well...it doesn't suck, but I just need to stay rooted to my ghetto roots and my nice cute little "poppy" roots, because those are what Hollie Jo is. You wouldn't imagine Hollie sitting here listening to Nine Inch Nails, but guess what, yeah you got it right, she is. I listen to one or two songs. But, still that's one or two songs of what I should be listening too. I'm not complaining at all, but it's just a crazy thing. Kind of like everything else that's going on in my life. I'm accepting change, little things, like music. Slowly, but surely. How crazy is that?? That's not crazy at all, but instead a really good thing, because that means that somehow some way I've changed something and I'm liking it and not wanting to change it back. This is something awesome for Hollie, you should know that all of you. It's amazing. I like it a lot. I'm almost ready for the big change. And if I'm not, get me a computer so I can email Amanda and tell her to call me ASAP and then get me a whole bunch of Gummi Bears...oh wait I have those, along with several other comfort foods. Such as Mt. Dew, but then I'll be thinking about Courtney, because she's the one that got me started on it...aww well...it'll be fine I should hope. I really really really really hope. And, I think it will...just give it time, lots and lots of time.

It's two in the morning and I have to get up early. Good Night
Love you blog. Tons and tons and tons...you've been there through thick and thin when things got rough...you're like myself written out on paper...I hope I don't give up on you during College, it's a big step. And I want everyone to keep track of what this girl is doing...ya know?? I think I'll name you Bloggie. Kinda like Hollie...only bloggie...yeah that'd be cute.
Night *kisses* Night,
lovelots
Later Tators (For old times sake)
Hollie Jo
Hollie's Thought of The Day:"Did you know that through everything you're still here?? And I love you for that."
It's amazing how far this summer has brought me. Not far, but far enough to realize there's been change. Good and bad, but mostly good.

There needs to be more colors in this thingy, but whatever. I just woke up a half hour ago, and I have no idea why I am soooo (vowels) tired. I really don't. Oh well. *shrugs* Anyway, so I'm like: just here and what not and have nothing to talk about. I'm kind of angry because I could of probably slept for another couple hours and what not, but no....I got woke up by Elvis this morning!! Luckily my music was just right next to me, so I jammed out to that while Grandma got down and boogied with Elvis. Stupid Elvis. No no no, what am I saying?? Elvis rocks, just not when you are sleeping, that's all. So, right now I'm listening to Maroon 5 "She will be loved" and it's putting me back to sleep. I still haven't figured out the lyrics for the song. This is the only downfall to it, but everything else is fine with it, I guess. I don't know. Now it is that one song umm..I don't wanna know. I guess it's an okay song. It's about some whore cheating on her boyfriend. And her boyfriend is singing and saying stuff like: don't tell me if you're playin me and all of that. But, dur...just break up with her dumbass!! Wow, what stupid people. *Switched Song, Scandoulous (spelling) Cat Woman (puke) Soundtrack, Switched Song* Shit, I can't spell her name, but it's Wrong Impression. I love this song ever so much. I could listen to it on repeat for hours and hours *switched* New CD, Blink 182, for some reason I can't stop listening to this CD...oh wait, pushed the wrong CD number, it's Arvil Lavigne....CD: Let Go. Like this CD to, but I dunno...I'm just like: dur right now, so it's good, but it's not what I want *switch* It had better be disc 3 or I'm gonna kick some ass. Wait wait wait, ftw? ftw??The mixed cd was 3...so Blink 182....awwww...yes....it's number 2!! Woot Woot. If this CD was a tape, yes folks it'd be all worn out and dead, b/c I like certain songs more than others, so I'm always repeating and skipping around. I dunno...I need to learn to stay on one song. No no no...I don't feel like it. So, yeah...I'm out of it, and if you can't tell by this well then something is wrong with your ability (spelling?) to see that I am completely out of it. You realize you're an internet junkie when:

1. People you don't even talk to much online tell you in person that you are on the internet all the time!!
2. You stay up looking for things to do online, even though you find none, you continue to look.
3. You tell yourself that you love the internet more than anything in the world.
4. You start to take words that you use in IM and use them in your daily life. Ex. ftw!?!
5. Your inside jokes have to do with the internet. Ex. 11 O'Clock
6. One of the firsts things you do when you wake up is check your email, followed by hours and hours of the internet.
7. You get angry at your "make new friends" sites when they are down for whatever they do.
8. You give your internet the finger for going slow.
9. You have your friend get log on on Windows Messenger for you while your internet is being slow. (You get off the interent in anger, call your friends celly, and have her log on, you tell her what to write and what not, it's not very effective)
10. The final reason, your screen name for MSN, AOL, and/or Yahoo! is: .::I N T E R N E T J U N K I E::. and when people ask if you are or not: you reply: Why would I have the screen name if I wasn't??

Now, you think I was bored....what time is it?? It's one in the afternoon, I've been working on this for about 20 minutes. I woke up at 12. I would of been on ealier, but I couldn't get the urge to get out of bed. Yes, put all of these together and you'll find out I'm an internet junkie. And my source of internet it leaving me tomorrow, I may go crazy. :(

Do you think it is possible to skip a day and then continue with the next day, like that day never did happen and everyone remembers what happens Wednesday but has no memory of what they did on Thrusday or what they were supposed to do on Wednesday?? This would mean I would no longer have to give back "my" computer, you know?? That'd be super nice. Yes, yes it would. hahaha...I have no idea what I'm talking about. I do, but it makes me sad to think about, because I have to give up "my" computer and make it so I have no computer anymore! :( This sucks major, because I love my computer more than anything in the world...ok so I said that about food, music and almost everything else today...but that's okay because I never know what I mean...this is true it's really funny how my works and how random I am...for right now I'm just typing whatever I feel, listening to Arvil and talking to Matt...oh and hoping my shitty internet doesn't decide to disconnect me...because you can't copy and paste when you blog now...how much bull shit is that?? Well lemme tell you: TONS AND TONS AND TONS!! Because do they think about all the helpless little Hollie's with shitty internet?? Hell no, they are up there with their wonderful speedy connections and never have to worry about getting kicked off or getting their internet all messed up, so they take my copy and paste privalages (spelling!!) away from me...but I also just realized that we have spell check and that we have always have had spell check, I've just decided that I didn't/never wanted to use it...hahaha I have no idea how I came from talking about getting rid of my computer to talking about spell check on blog?? Oh wait, now I do, but you see if I explain it I would just copy and paste! BUT I CAN'T!! And tell you all to read it and have a nice day!! But, anyway...so what was I talking about...oh how I met the most dorky kid in the world...I mean I knew I was dorky but this kid takes it to a different level. In fact, his name is kid...and he rocks...he's a dork...did you know that skittles taste different?? Wow...I kinda did...but I didn't know all kinds of things...like how many kids don't like chocolate or peanut butter?? Well, Kid HATES chocolate and peanut butter!! How in the hell are you supposed to have a childhood favorite: s'mores or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (I do think Kid may have some problems) But, no really now...Kid is amussing and funny and kinda dorky in a stupid way...he's really funny though...I was gonna give him whatever I was to drink BBQ sauce today...it was pretty funny and then I dunno what else Kid did...but he's pretty funny to watch...just sit there and watch for a couple of minutes until you realize that you are watching him...then it gets better b/c he gets all dorky on you. Man, Kid rocks! I wanted to bring him home and show my Grandma and be like: Grandma check Kid out...he's super funny and dorky! And look he amuses me for hours (okay...so I was amused for an hour, before we (Matt and I) left.) But, still Kid could be pretty amusing if he tried hard enough. But, anyway...how did I find Kid...that's the question all of you are wondering isn't it?? Kid is Matt's little brother...we went there and hung out with Kid and his sister Kelli....they are both really funny and what not, just like Matt...but younger. It's pretty amazing. They rock...so anyway...what else did I do today: I met Matt's friend Corey...I'm shy so I didn't say much and they were speaking some lanuage (spelling!...you'd think that since I know that I spelled it wrong, that'd I go and click the button that has a check with ABC on it...but no no no...all of you can stumble through my horrible spelling) anyway...some lanauge that I coldn't understand, because they were talking all smart, I take this time out to say that they were talking in some geek launage (that's it I'm clicking the button damn it, I clicked it and it took forever and wasn't even started yet, so I said: bye! and clicked out of it) so we're back to what was I talking about again?? umm...oh geeks...yes they were talking all geeky and it didn't make any sense to me, but that doesn't matter, because for some reason Geeks appeal to me in the highest nature...I find them hott in every way...it's a really nice thing, I have no idea why they do, but they do and that's what counts, so anyway...so then after an hour of that we went driving and ended up at Kid's house and we totally were amused (see above...dur) and then we came home, to find my mom...and I have no idea why she was there...but I found out when we went in that it was because she went shopping for the boys and blah blah blah...she gave me a dirty look when I came in, but I'm like: hey mom! All nice and cheery, because that's the nice thing to do?? Don't you think, of course you do, because you have no other choice, okay so you can totally push the back button and pretend that you never came across this, but if you have made it this far, chance are that you are going to finish reading this whole entire thing and then some of the others blogs I have made, by clicking on random buttons on the right side of the page...but I remind you...that not all are suitable for kids under the age of whatever. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I find myself ramblin on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and I like to type and ever and ever and ever it feels really cool...and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever...I have no idea but I like it a lot and ever and ever I've decided that I just like the word ever and ever and ever and ever and ever...I really really really really really do...I love my words...I love my typeage skill and what not...boy I'm like fully out of it right now...I hope Amanda is going to have fun at her pictures tomorrow...I wonder how to get rid of an Yahoo! account...I've had mine for 2 years...and I don't want it anymore...infact I don't want a new one either and AOL sucks donkey dick and MSN is okay I guess...but that's the one I use all the time. It has my most buddies and what not and all of that...and I don't think MSN is like full of really stupid people...really stupid people are really stupid..they are just dur!! dumb that's what I think. I have no idea what to say, but for some reaosn I can't stop typing useless nonsense...I love useless nonsense...I should start pushing buttons...I've got this sudden urge to eat Garlic Bread...yes people Garlic bread. Garlic bread is good...I wonder if I could make any and then have something else with it...I dunno what I cold have it with...but I'm sure there is something in the house that I could just throw together and say: voila?? (spelling deal with it) and eat it right up and be like: yummy this is good...blah blah...food food food. I love food more than anything in the world, yes I love a lot of things. Tons and Tons and Tons of things...I wonder I should make a list of everything I love it's going to be completely random and by tomorrow I will not remember what I love, but here is goes...no order, b/c I love to many things

1. Food
2. Music
3. Tator Tot Casserole
4. Dogs
5. Cats
6. Herbert
7. Romeo
8. Patches
9. Kids
10. School
11. Willow
12. Jasmine
13. Writing
14. Reading
15. Funny People
16. Drama
17. Food
18. Internet
19. TV
20. The Simpsons
21. Real World
22. Friends
23. Amanda
24. Courtney
25. Ashley
26. drums
27. books
28. Harry Potter
29. Food
30. My blanket
31. Pillows
32. Movies
33. hmm...what else
34. words
35. Mr. Rice
36. History
37. Rubik's Cube
38. MSN
39. umm...what else
40. Painting
41. Drawing
42. Music
43. Tator Tot Casserole
44. Grass
45. Volley Ball
46. Football
47. Watching Basketball
48. Kayne West
49. 50 Cent
50. Soccer Goalies
51. Wow...lists that go on and on and on
52. Food
53. food
54. food
55. food
56. food
57. and more food

How many people are blessed with a mom who thinks you're a slut?? mmm....maybe me and some other girl in a far off land, and yeah, that's about it. Boy, do I love her! She's like the best damn mom ever! And, then! She goes and sells all my shit...isn't that nice, I'm surprised I get the money. And you wanna know something, yeah I told mom to tell Evan to go suck a big ol donkey dick, and hahahahahaha yeah she fuckin told him, what a fuckin dope. I hate her sometimes. I wish she would go suck a donkey dick blah blah blah. I'm over it, but still kinda pissed. I hate her, sometimes. And then she flips out about Matt and blah blah blah. I'm sooo sick of this. I dunno...in a week I'm leaving and I don't have to talk to Evan anymore, well I don't anyway, but I mean he's such a dope, he doesn't think that I can do it...and well no shit I know I can though, what a fuckin moron. I fuckin hate him!!!!! But, then fjoiaeoijfoiaj dur just dur...I hate him. I really hate him.

When I grow up I'll be better off
When I grow up I'll turn the tables
well...right now I'm doing good. So fuck you and fuck you, too.

Man, so me and Gram are talking and it went something like this:
Hollie: Gram, what am I gonna do without you??
Gram: I dunno...you'll be fine.
Hollie: You sure, you want to come down and move with me. I really don't know what I'm gonna do without you!!
Gram: No, I need to stay here...you're just gonna have to find yourself a new maid!!
Hollie: No, I like you being my maid. Gram, you sure??
Gram: Yes, I'm sure...I'm too old!!
Oh, Gram is the best, she totally said: heck yeah! yesterday. Yeah all of your grandma's suck! My grandma rocks harder than yours, in fact she just said: crap! Yeah she did!! Gram is the best...she just said: bitch. Man, and she speeds and sometimes she doesn't like stopping at the Red Light. Gram is the best Gram ever...don't no one being saying otherwise! I'm out!

Okay, this week is my last week in this house, in a week I will be sitting in some area getting talked to about who knows what, but it'll be something. Anyway, so this week is actaully jammed packed with stuff to do!! Ready?? Okay...I'm gonna do it now:
Monday: call the doctors and force them to give me a appt. b/c I need one...and that's what I'll say, but I'm not good at force, but I'm sure I can figure something out :)
Tuesday: I think that Matt and I are going to talk about everything, because this is very muy important even though it shouldn't take that long...or something like that...I have no idea, but this is a very muy important thing as I said...and I should take some Spanish...hmmm....but that is going to either make me super high or I'm going to be super low...most likely the first one, because well yeah...but anyway...ok..
Wednesday: night, I will be packing, and Amanda will be getting her Senior Pictures done!! woot woot! That's sooo exciting for her, and me b/c I was a loser and Evan was a dick and I never got any done :( Asshole!
Thrusday: I will be learning to work a Washer and Dryer...oh man...luckily it only takes quarters...horrah for that
Friday: I will be doing, packing.
Saturday: Final shopping and spending the day with Amanda and hopefully Courtney sometime!!
Sunday: I will be getting up early and leaving for school :D whoa.
But, as you see I plan to pack twice before I leave, how crazy is that?? Really crazy, but whatever, I'm sure that I'll be fine...I will prolly pack Wednesday too. But, then I will have a Dr.'s Appt. one day this week. I hope Wednesday, because that is the boring day...and well I guess I have to start going to bed early too, because I have to learn to wake up before 8 am which this summer seemed to cease to exist.
I know that doesn't seem like much to do, and it's prolly not but for me....all of this will take me forever and ever because I have no motivation to do any of this, I'm like: horrah school. It's the next four years of my life and then well...until I retire...dur...that's all...I guess I'm ready. I think I'm almost ready, but it's just those stupid emotions thinking whatever I feel like thinking...or it could be I'm to bored/tired/lazy to be scared and worried. Or it could be the super good news I got this morning. Yeah...that's the one. Bye for now! *smiling*