Wednesday, September 08, 2004
I Like College For The Next Hour
So, I almost missed another class today, but luckily my bass from my stereo woke me up. Isn't that nice of my stereo, actually it is, because I have to attend that class, he takes attendance. Anyway, so I had to do this 10 min. of informal writing, grr...I'm supposed to be reading right now. Aww...shit I'm soo far behind it isn't even funny. I can't believe this. Anyway, so maybe it's the internet or going out and wandering around, or staying up to late or just doing nothing of importance with my time. It's all three of those and what not. I'm giving myself an hour to read two chapters. I think I can do it if I'm smart about it. Which means I have seven minutes to talk about nothing, yes I said it, nothing. This blog has been nothing for the longest time. I mean, yes, sometimes, it might have something of interest, but no not really. But, I mean I love my blog, it keeps my life half way sane and what not and offers balance in the strange new place I am in. I cried for the first time since before I left. I was/am really homesick and what not. The change set in and I'm scared that I was used again for the 2nd time in less than 3 days. They all factor into major junk and what not and it's really bad. But, whatever I'm sure that I'll be fine later on and what not. It's pretty rocking how far I've actually come/came whatever the fuck it is, without freaking out. I hate change you guys all know that. It's pretty hard for me to do the whole change thing...but I thought I was doing good, because I hadn't thought about it. But, now I am and will be for awhile. Change sucks, but I'll get better. I hope, just give it some time. Manda call me tonight, whore! Thank you. Oh, and I was thinking about that. And maybe the whole talking to Amanda and hearing how school is going and all of that just isn't good for me. It's keeping me in the past and not letting me see my future. No, Amanda if you're reading this don't get all offended it's just me thinking about everything. I don't know, maybe it could be it, or whatever, but probably not. I'm not sure. I'm kind of worried about everything, but then in a sense I'm not. I told Dani a little bit about the way I am and why I'm the way I am. I can only hope she doesn't tell anyone about that. I think she needed to know, because you just can't have someone crying and not telling them. She told me now that I have to go to classes just to prove dick wad wrong. I think I can do that. I know I can do that. I'm holliejo and that's how I got to where I'm going and how I'm going to where I'm going. What the fuck did I just say...don't know don't care.
It's 1230 time to start reading.
# posted by ojeilloh : 1:18 PM
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