Saturday, August 14, 2004
I'm Like "Hey!" (In A Completely Out Of It Voice)
Oh man, I'm bloody tired and tired some more. But it's all good though, because well it can be? Yeah, that's it. No dudes, last night I did The Walk For Grace and it was tons of fun, although I didn't do much walking, but instead I did do a lot of talking to everyone (Courtney, Holly, Caitlin, Amanda, Mindy, Short Gurl Heather, Nathan, yummy Tyler Hanold, Kathy, and some others) and dare I say Patrick. Mawhahahaha. Yeah, I totally was like: you're handing out with my Patrick, and you handing out with me for the whole bloody night, to bad there wasn't any "handing out" going on, but have no free, because I was totally bothering him the whole night!! Yeah, it was pretty crazy. The only good thing:
I Got My Cadence CD!!
Yeah, I can't believe it, for once he kept his promise. It was pretty crazy. So, that made my night. And then he got Danger Zone from his car FOR ME and it was played. I was ever so happy. That was pretty crazy. And well, some bad things also happened, like me breaking chairs, stepping in banana, falling over, being marked up with pens, being cold, my voice becoming hoarse, and getting a killer headache. But, those totally don't over power the good of the night. For really for truly. I don't know, we had some fun. And they made fun of me about my computer addiction and a ton of other things. But, I got Patrick and everyone else back. I stayed up the whole night and almost kept the whole hyper thing up the whole night, I bet it was from blankets and fearing that Patrick would do horrible things to me if I went to sleep. Then he totally took me out like 8 gizzlion times. That was fine. I really didn't talk to Amanda but I mean were always together so no biggie. But, I mean I know that certain people won't miss me or whatever, but it was still really scary to be like: whoa, I'm not gonna see this people for the longest time. And I mean I had to really say good bye to them or whatever, it's really scary. But, I'm sure that I'll be fine, I really do. I just think so, I mean I think that I'll change and do something good with my life and just have a great time in school. I'm apt to change, but I know that it is unavoidable. I can't do anything to stop it or make it a better way. I just have to take it and have people there when I really need them. I know that the first weeks are gonna be really hard. And that Amanda will call me all the time. And if she doesn't I'm gonna kick her ass. And Courtney too, I'm gonna be 18 on Monday, but I'm soo 13 at heart. I still have "crushes" like hardcore (ex. Patrick/Jim/Pattie), I'm still a giddy little school girl, I'm extremely dorky, and I'm very hyperactive. But, then you look at me other times, and you realize that I have really good qualties and that I can actually be really mature and everything else that comes with growing up. It's really kind of scary, but I love it in a sense. I think I'm still discovering my emotions and the full range of them, and I also think I'm learning what makes me tick. It's kinda really hard for me to say: I'm set on one thing and this is how I am, so instead I do the holliejo thing. And I know that when I go to college, the holliejo thing won't work, until after I know the person. So, at first I have to be the funny, smart, delightful, mature but fun loving, determined, college freshman. I can't just be like: oh I'm holliejo and expect them to know what the hell I'm talking about. But, it's gonna be nice, I don't wanna do the whole start over and become someone I'm not, because I tell you what I wanna be the little girl with unbelieve highs and super low lows, it's just me and I don't wanna change that, because I'm changing everything already, I'm going somewhere I never thought I'd be going, meeting tons of new people that are gonna get the holliejo feel of things, but I'm just doing something I didn't think I could do. It's just amazing...and I didn't cry because I was leaving, I cried because I'm going somewhere. And finally just this once, the ending is happy and the beginning is bright and shiny. And everything for once is gonna be okay. I can't believe this is happening to me.
# posted by ojeilloh : 12:39 PM
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