I get bored a lot and no matter what I'm always bored. It sucks to be bored don't you think? Of course you do. haha...everyone that is anyway thinks being bored is the most horrible thing in the world. I hate being bored. Yes, I really do and that is all.

So I was talking to someone today and I thought it was the best. Do you realize that I can't go a day without talking to someone. I mean on the phone I can do it, but I mean I have to talk to someone on the internet, cuz if I don't I go bloody crazy and what not. In fact if I didn't have the internet I would go damn crazy. Just so crazy...well I'm already crazy, but I would go more crazy than I already am. I have no idea what I'm talking about, it's kinda funny. I have no idea.

I'm bored and when I'm bored I babble and get tired. When I'm tired it means I would love to sleep and to sleep at only 930 is a shame. I love to sleep and what not...but no one is ever on. I think there should be a rule that everyone should be online or better yet I should get a life, yeah that might be a good thing, you know. But, since I have no friends around here and they are all to busy for me, but no Amanda, I mean what good is that? I mean I thought that mabye since I'm leaving they would wanna hang out, like I've only hung out with Courtney once this summer...that's crazy. I used to see her every single day, almost. And then there are the people that I lose touch with. I mean everyone seemed so determined to be my friend and what not and granted yes I love them all, but I mean why wouldn't you at least call? I mean come on. but whatever. I try not to let it bring me down, because then I get all depressive. It's been awhile since I've thought about Ralphie and what not...I realize that I don't really need him in my life. And I don't think I need drummer boy either. They are just really fun to crush on. And well...drummer boy is fun to tease and taunt and just fun. But, I know that nothing will happen just because it's kinda late for anything to happen. And he would never think of me like someone like that, just becaue you know? So I'm not worried about it, and I'm gonna try to "let go" and what not. But, ya know...I have fun. I just do. haha..underoos? Anway.

I'm in love. This time is different. I'm not sure that anyone believes me or even wants to hear this, but it's my blog so the rest of you can suck a donkey dick. You know I don't mean it. But just don't read. I'm in love. That's what I feel and I know that I am. I wanted to click the "more" button just now. Anway...so love, my love is great and large for him. The only thing different this time is that I don't feel the need to be with him. I really don't and you should know that is an awesome thing for me. Because I used to think that I needed him in my life always and forever more. But, now I realize that he is going to be in my life always and forever more, but not going to be a big part of it for awhile. Because I have things here to take care of. And he has a girlfriend. Plus, well the thing called the ocean is in the way of everything and even then we are miles and miles and miles apart. But, I have this feeling that when the time comes he is going to be part of my life for always and forever more even if we just joke around about it for now. He is amazing and I love him. He's my best friend.