Saturday, July 24, 2004
Five Weeks Tomorrow
What are you supposed to tell someone that you love to death that you want them soo bad, but you know that no matter what you can't have them, even though deep down you know that in someway they want you to?? That's where I am. And no longer can any of my friends do anything about it. You're all gonna have to get over the fact that I care about him ever so much. Because, well I really do. And I don't think that he is gonna try and hurt me, this time around. I just don't see it. I really don't.
Okay...so Five Weeks Tomorrow. Yes, that is the time in which I have here in Richland Center/I wish Sextonville/Ithaca. It is all there is to it. No standing down. I'm leaving, this has been a plan for the last four years. To leave whatever hell I had behind and just pack up and leave. Little did I know that hell wasn't all that bad. I have friends that I would take with me anytime, but I know that I can't. This is the hardest time in my life. There's been some tough times, but counting down. That's just really scary. Why do I have to be like this?? I should stop questioning my life and what it is. Everything happens for a reason. And the fact that I'm leaving that was planned far before anything. The friends, dare I say got in the way??, they did though, but for good reason. They made me realize and helped me through anything and everything. Without them I wouldn't even be here today...and if I was here, by chance, I know that I at least wouldn't be going to college. I love all y'all to death, specially Amanda, Courtney, and Ashely. Amanda, she's already promised to keep in touch, and well Courtney you have nights and weekends, so get used to calling me. Ashley, well you have a cell phone?? too right?? Or I'm gonna expect you to email me!! Cuz well you better and that's all there is to it!! Because I said so. I know that I'll be fine. Please stop telling me that!! I'm no longer worried about what is going on with being fine. I'm now excited and scared, that's what I am...now...nothing else as hard as it seems...just don't worry for me...I'm gonna do it, if I have to pay back school loans until I'm 80...this is me now...and won't be me tomorrow...tomorrow I'll be paying back until I'm 50!!
Well...so...I'm here and you are there...what is that supposed to mean?? I have soo many things about that!! But, yeah if my brain is correct it is too early. But, if I'm right then...well then I'm right. For really now, I had something to say...aww yes, I may actually may be doing something today/afternoon/evening. I'm not sure what to call that, but i know that I may be doing something, so that is awesome if I must say so myself?? Don't you think so?? Of course you do!
I haven't blogged in forever...I feel that Blogger Services will take my blog away and all I'll have is a stupid myspace or hi5 blog. But, yet I seem to advertise? Crazy me...oh well...you all love me and that's all there is to it!! Haha..but yea...I love my blog, and I just wish that I had something more to write in it all the time...I'm never writing in it anymore, and that bothers me, you know?? Like I used to post everyday...and be like: post post post post. Stupid summer for making me addicted to the internet, and letting me just avoid my blog, I do think that they should force me to write something in my blog...guess I should make it my homepage again...then I would be great...hmm...considering this highly...and you know this...cuz I love to write! I do love to write, I love to write about anything and everything, because well I just do, and what not. Well I'm beginning to babble and I must take a nap already this morning, cuz I don't think being up for an hour and then going back to bed counts...or does it?? Hmmm...I have no idea...so I'm saying: I'm going back to bed. And taking a nap. This is going to be posted on: hi5, myspace, and first and formost: Blogger. I love my blog and get over copying and pasting lik I'm gonna have ideas at 10 in the morning...give me a break. I can barly function my fingers at ten let alone make up three post
you love me and you know it
holliejo
# posted by ojeilloh : 9:32 AM
|