I dunno...I mean with everything coming to a close so quickly there are other things on my mind. The fact that most of everything is just me stressing out...I mean I have the chance of not even getting to go to college. I mean I dunno if that means anything to you out there reading this...but it does to me...and I found oiut that is all that matters...I dunno...I mean you can worry about everything...but that doesn't make it better...you have to take charge and make something for yourself...so I am...I'm coming back to show you that I can do it...I can make my grade better by doing something that I don't want to do...I'm going to take the geometry final becasue that is what I think is the best thing for me at this moment...I managed to get a C+ on the first final of the year...so I'm almost thinking that I can do fine...the thing about all of this is the fact that I can slack off...while I think that I'm not getting it...but when I come back after a month of doing this...I think that I'll do fine..because that is the way I learn...so after evertying I'll be better off..I mean comeon...I mean I will do fine...I dunno...I think that I'll do fine...becuase that is waht I think that I think that I'm doing fine...I dunno...I just think about everything and know that I'll be fine after all of this..I just know that I will...Okay??

Good Bye. That's all...I mean that's all I have to say, because that is what it is. Finally after all of these years. I mean I'm just thinking that when I came into high school I never thought that I could do it. I've been through so much ups and downs. It is pretty horrible. I mean the fact that I didn't know what to do. I looked at those people that were in my class and worried about everything. I looked at my friends and wondered what was I going to do?? So, I did everything that I was supposed to do. I got the good grades and did the things I needed to do. But, I mean everyone makes mistakes, and I did too. The mistake was me moving to a school that I didn't belong in. Because, I was holliejo...I was smart. My GPA dropped one whole point. And I was just a 3.4 student to start with. This couldn't be good. When I moved back I got my head on straight and got back to work. I went from a 2.2 to a 3.8 for at least one quarter. The rest I was back to a normal student...so this was great. I did it. But, now I'm faced with another changelle...I have to pass Geometry to go to college...but I didn't study and I tried to learn it...but didn't put enough passion into to stay ambitious...I didn't want to learn it anymore...and now that I"m here...I'm faced with tons of options...the option I didn't want to think about is lurking again...because I've done everything...I'm coming back to take a final...to pad my oh soo horrible grade. I hope I get another chance...I've fucked up before...I'll fuck up again...but this time just let the fuck get a little smaller.

This is being edited from 1: 45 p.m at school...in the library. What I've come to know about this school is that no matter what someone is always going to be there for you. The people that might not care for you...you come to find out that they really do and this is surprising because you never thought they would. So as my finger slide over the keys...you just have to think about all the people that have helped you along the way...it is amazing how many people care, love, support, and all the other positive things for you. I've been through so much..and I've had so many people there supporting me...and without them there was a good chance that I would of never got as far as I did. I doubt that I will continue blogging...for having something wrote down in a notebook is more personal...even though I doubt my summer will have many memories...I hope that it holds something special. I'm leaving the people that I love most behind...and that scares me. I've never done anything by myself...I've never once dreamed of becoming independent...that means doing things for myself...being someone that has to fend for herself...and all of this scares me...I don't want to hear the bell that tells me I'm done...I want to hear the annoucement that I'm trapped forever...I'm scared of becoming an adult...I get to make bigger decisions for myself and that scares me even more that becoming one...I'm scared that I'll fuck up a lot of things for myself...but then you think about the people that promise you that they'll always be there for you...and I hope that certain people are always there...or something like that...I just hope that everything works out for me...becuase I can't think about it any other way...I'm finished with what seems to be one of the biggest things in my life so far...and without a doubt...I think that it is...without high school you can't get anywhere...and with it...you have to continue on...I can't do that right now...but I know that I have to...I just think about everything...I'm graduating in like 3 days...and that scares me...because the one thing I don't want is that...I'm scared...as many tmes as I've said that you don't know how much I mean that...I just don't want it...I never wanted to graduate...there are the people that say that's all they want...but I htink that deep down they are probably thinking that are going to miss us...at least a little...and if not...then they're crazy...you just need to look at everything and realize this is your first attempt at a family...when you walked into school for the first time in your life...you can choose then if you are going to love them or hate them...let them in on your dirty pretty secrets...anything...I mean my family has expanded...I've become one of the happiest people right now...I feel that I'm really happy...and what not...because my family has grown into something larger than what I ever thought it could be...I love my family more than anyone can imagine...I just don't express it...without all of you there wouldn't be a holliejo...a holliejo is just what you see...I don't need to explain it anymore because each and everyone of you have somehow shaped me...it is great to be a bunch of great people created into one..and then taking credit for being such a great person...my head is a little big...but I see everyone around me...I just do..and I love it.

I love looking around and seeing my life ending at a path...but a new one more complex coming into sight...this is the end...I dunno what I'm going to do.