I miss it...I was reading blogs and stuff...and found a pep band one...and the memeories flooded back to my head...all those times I yelled and screamed...I was proud of our school and our PEP BAND...it was great...becuase of everything that was goin on...I mean I love sports and stuff...but yeah...anyway...I really miss everything...I don't get to go back by force...I graduated high school..and that scares the shit out of me...I mean that is the one thing I always wanted...but never really wanted. That scares me...I want to go back so bad...and I know that I should be happy to go somewhere...go to college...cuz everyone knows that is what I want so bad...but I mean I had tons of fun this year and I want to be right back where I was when...well you get it

I'm also gonnna miss my friends...so I guess I should start telling them I care...I mean I only got so long...before it's done...until it's real...it's already starting...but I mean it's not going to be the same...I go to school...and I move there...I walk in the classes and see faces which none of them I know and I have to start from there...smile nice and pretend I don't see the ones picking me apart...and then tossing all the good away only to leave the bad...that scares the shit out of me...college better be different from high school...or I'm not going...at all...that's all there is to it...I don't care...I'll drop out and say I have to come back...I will...I don't want to leave what I have...Stefan thinks that I have this thing about changing...yeah I do...but I mean I got this thing about leaving the great things I have now...because everyone knows that I have all kinds of good stuff going for me...I mean that's all there is to it...

Wow...I dunno...really I don't...I want to believe that nothing bad will happen that I'll do everything I'm supposed to do and then some...b/c I'm holliejo and that's all there is to it...anway...so I'm here and you're there...I'm refering to school and everything else...I don't want to be far away from you...you make me soo happy...you are amazing...you got all those wonderful things in your head...like well...I would say...but that would give it all away...you got the BOOM let's say that...and when I say BOOM it has to be like that..because that's what you got...I'm gonna miss you...even though you won't miss me much...I mean you say you won't miss me...but you like the attention you get when I watch you play and I have this BIG OL SMILE ON ME FACE...sorry...you know you do...and if not...well you better start...Manda and the others will be there for you next year...I'll have to find me someone to replace you and your talent...you got something...run with it and don't let it go.

Okay...Courtney it's your turn: I love you gurl...I mean you got me ghetto...I was already somewhat ghetto...but you gave it to me...keep it up...you are so FREAKING FUNNY...I know we lost somethings...but I know you'll always care...the people that see you at your lows and your highs and love you for both anyway...that means something...and you've been there...been my support in Sextonville when things have gotten to ruff...you've been there..and I love you for that...I dunno you know where we stand...and I hope the next four years of your life rock out as hard as mine did this year...b/c then you'll have more fun than you could ever imagine

Okay...who else...well I'm up for two tonight...I'm on emotional healer tonight...it's fun and sad and brings me down..but I gotta do it.