I hate this. I really do. I'm more confused. I should just let it all go. Just forget about everything that was, could have been, and is. I hate the feeling of everything falling apart and the feeling of letting go. You confuse me, make me cry and everything in between. It's not really all that fair...you realize that don't you? I hate how you make me feel and everything.

I shouldn't have invited you or anything along the lines of that, but then again, you actually did come down. You've started talking to me more, listening to me, and everything in between. Strange, yes, comforting, even more so. I'm not sure what the hell I'm thinking about all of this for. It's stupid and what not...I should just give up. You did not try anything with me or anything...I don't know what to do anymore. I just want everything to be okay. I'm not used to this unsure water I'm traveling with any direction or anything. It's really quite scary. The money, my job, you, everything in between. The only stable thing I have is the fact that Courtney is there and stuff. So, I don't know. I feel so stupid for everything that is going on. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm just going to let this fall into place, everything should be better than you could ever believe. Hopefully. I cross my fingers.