I just want you to anwser me this...okay...why does everything work out for me, and not anyone else...I mean seriously I was content with him; I was happy. And now they're taking it away from me, and they get it. I don't. She's next to me, giggling and laughing and make jokes, falling for him, and making someone break up. But, she doesn't know that she just the stereo typical girl now does she? But, only if she did. Ha. That'd be the day. What would you do if that happened? If she ended up being another girl that he just happen to fall for all the time. Then what? Why can't I be happy? Why can't...I have what I want...why can't I be the one that has him again. Why? We all go through this all time, everything changes and everything is so different from everything else. It's not fair. I hate her for it. I want her to know it too. I just hate the way she acts and everything. Everyone gets to be happy, 'cept me. It's a bunch of bullshit, lemme tell you. I don't know where everyone else gets off. Do you realize that they're all the pretty girls that everyone loves, because they are so pretty and so hott, so preppy, so everything that everyone wants. Fit a mold, made into the perfect girl. And then because I don't mold, because I don't fit, I don't get what I want. I have to deal with everything and then things that I never tell anyone. That I worry about, that I don't say anything to anyone about, that I do nothing about. You have no idea how much it hurts not to be some mold. Who wants to be a mold? Come on, you all are, you just don't realize it. But, then the people that aren't molds, don't you think that in some way, shape, or form the people that aren't molds are in some kind of pain. Really? Don't you think so? I think so! I didn't fit the mold, and I'll never fit the mold, and it hurts to see that guys just want the mold. A stereotypical mold, where your laugh addicts them to you, your boobs are too big, and you have no mind of your own, just what your friends think and tell you to do, what you read in magazines...and everything in between, you know the classic mold girl. Do you really think that molds are worthwhile? Do you really want something that can just be pushed and pulled this way without thought or logic? I know I have none of my own of the before two, but I know what I like and I know that molds are for people that can't think for themselves. Now, according to you, you may not think that I think right, but I know that I think, and that's better than what you have...and you know it, so you're jealous. I don't care that I have the intelligence of an 18 year old, the common sense of at least a 14 year old, the logic of a freaking 12 year old, and the fussy, cranky, take care of me mood a 2 year old. It's always going to be better than acting like a fake 18 year old. I make my world to cater myself, because I have to watch out for myself. I can almost promise that I can take care of you if you let me, you just have to try to trust me. I know that I'm not a trustable person and I'm over it. I don't really understand myself why I say the things I do, and what not, but you just have to get over that and what not. I'm not going to be all nice to you, respect I will (different subject) but cater to your needs and want, fuck that shit, do you really think that I'm going to let you walk all over me? Do you really think that I'm willing to be like...hey guess what I think that I'm going to stop what I'm doing to let you do what you want? Hell, no, it doesn't work like that, and that's just something that you're going to have to learn to deal with. I'm sorry if you don't like me, because guess what, hon, I dont' like you either and I like it that way. I have another half hour to write, and a half hour I will write. Anyways, I like being me. I like being the person that everyone talks about, because without me, who are you going to talk about? Seriously, there has to be someone there that you can talk about, someone there that has to be the scapegoat of everyday life. Someone that can take the fall for everything else. And then there's those people that are always listening to the people that talk about you, and then they get the wrong impression and it hurts, because you don't know what to say to anyone, becuase you don't know where to defend yourself, because everyone knows everything, and you wish that they didn't. I hate that. Where do you get off telling everyone what the fuck I say all the damn time? Seriously? Where and Why? I don't understand. I wish that you didn't ever talk about me, why do you know things...you little fucking whore of a gossip queen. Do you realize that you're the people I hated back in high school, hated, I always wanted to be one, but not now, and not ever again. You're a stupid bitch, and I hate you. Hate you, hate you, hate you. You and you're little ways, the way you act and the things that you do, and everything in between. I just hate you, and I love to hate you, that's the truth. You have no idea. If only you could know half of the hate that's always constantly running through my veins. Do you realize that I just like to hate you, and I love being able to hate you, and then being able to just take it all and just be able to behave again, and not do anything wrong, because I'm not allowed to talk about you. I'm not allowed to do what you do to me, that's not allowed and nor will it ever be allowed. I don't want to have to deal with it all. I really don't. You have no idea, I hate being with you, I hate having to deal with you. i fucking hate you! i hate the way you are, i hate the way you act. i just hate you, and i can only hope that you understand this now. why do i hate you, you're the people i hated in high school and tried to get rid of in college, and look what happened...you're here now...and i hate you!

All I do, I can still feel you. And I hate it. You are someone that I can't believe I can forget. Why can't I? I have no idea, but it blows, because you would think that I would just be able to do it, and I can't...it's horrible. I want to be like: afkdjalkfdjaiofjdal;fd I dont' know what I want to be like, but it's something and it's something nice, you have no idea. Really you don't. I just want to give in and learn to love you, and I'll never get that chance. I'm done writing for now