She makes me think, about everything I do, everything that I question, everything in general. She's like one of those people that you need in your life, that way you actually know the difference betweeen right and wrong and the difference between good and bad. For example, it's right for me to have a boyfriend, but it's wrong for me to be with other people. I don't know. It's crazy. I don't know. It's really weird. I don't know, it's just a really really hard thing that bothers me, and what not. It's really weird. I'm not saying that I don't like him and what not, but it's like hmm...and I really doing what I'm doing? Or should I be doing something that isn't like this. I'm confused. Time out. Okay...I'm like: hmm...should I really be doing what I'm doing? I mean that. Like, I would have never thought that I would say that, but I sit here and really start to think about it, and I'm more like...I dunno..."interested" in his friend than him, like I don't know why, but I am. Like, I know deep down I'm not, but it just seems like it. Like I don't want to be like that, but I am. It sucks. It really does. Gosh, I'm soo confused. I'm just gonna back off, maybe he'll get the hint, but what about when I see him and his friends? Then what? That's not gonna be cool, it's gonna be crazy. What the hell did I get myself into? I just want to be like: hmm...maybe this isn't for the best, but I want to think it is, even though deep down I know it's not, fuckin A. I'm ever so confused. Shit shit shit. I just want to start over again. Just go back and think about everything like: hmmm...do I really really want to be with him? And if not, why is Stefan always right? Stupid boy.