I vote:
1) You stop calling me. All the time.
2) That I stop lying all the time.
3) That I wish everything would be okay, and just once more I could just have a home cooked meal, while watching re-runs of The Simpsons with my brothers.
4) That I could put up with people that drink, that way everything would go back to normal and I could do number 3
5) that I could realize that normal is never ever going to happen, even if I wanted it too, because I am so far from normal that nothing can ever be where it is supposed to be.
6) that even if normal ever did exist that they could get over the fact that I actually want to do things they consider crazy, just like me thinking that when they drink they are crazy. What's so wrong with writing and wanting to do something with my life?
7) that I wouldn't do the things that I do, even though the things that I do make me who I am now and affect my life in the future.
8) You change. I don't know how you should change, but where you're going now isn't worth anything. You aren't worth anything. You have material value, and that's it. Nothing else. Do you realize this? That you can't do anything about anything, but what you wear or anything else that has some material value. That your actual values are worth nothing, because you don't follow them or listen to yourself or others, even though you should a lot more. I don't know why I have to be so mean to you, it's just that you don't care anyway, when you should. You sank back into what you were trying to get away from. You missed it. You hated being someone you weren't, but hon, that isn't you either. I know you have to cry yourself to sleep. When I read what you write, that isn't you. I know when it is and when it isn't. And whenever you write about her, that isn't you. Ever. This I know and you know it all to well yourself, but you can't admit it. But, that's alright, because I'll love you when you fall back down to Earth and you realized you fucked up.
9) For normalacy. (spelling, fuck off) I don't know what normal is or what normal was. I've never known normal, but I want something close to it.
10) That you realize that even though something is under control by someone else, that not everything is going to change, like they think it is. That isn't the way things work, contray to what you think. It's okay though. I don't know if that makes sense. But, I wish it did.

So I voted. I voted for the first 10 things that came to my mind. Well, only nine of them are true, but what are you going to do. I know that what I voted for, right now, means something to me and problably nothing to anyone else, but that's okay, because that is what we vote for. Just on a bigger scale it's more likely that someone out there is going to have a veiw that is related to your's. I don't think that any two people have the same exact thought, they just say they do to stay with the group and not get pointed out. Anyways, that isn't what I'm talking about. I have to learn to realize that everything out there is something, anything, nothing related to normal. Normal isn't anything. It's a state of being that people have made up to describe something. It means nothing, because what you think is normal and what I think is normal is completely differnt. For me, I picture Normal as the utopia that I never had growing up or right now. I want the Normal, which is still far from the Normal a lot of people are used to. I don't care if I get divorced, but I don't want to marry again. I would prefer not to get divorced, but it could happen. I don't want the soccer mom appeal, but I want something close to it. I just want something that could be thought of as normal. Not compared to normal, just something. Enough to stand out, but enough to be able to sink back in. The black shirt in the navy blue crowd.