Anyway...we got our yearbooks yesterday and I guess they are pretty cool...but anyway that's not the point. The point is that there isn't that much writing space...and what not...so I have to hand write all my things on paper and just stick it in there...the bonus...I can sign them at home.

The truth be told...I really can't do Geometry anymore...I lost it...I really don't feel like writing anymore...also my wonderful reading and writing high went away when I felt that my head hurt a lot and what not...and so with that...my yearbook sign-ings suck because I have no writing effort at all and that blows for me and the wonderful people who want me to write something special in there...but anyway on to something more important such as Geometry and how bad it blows and the fact that I don't like it anymore than anything in the world...in fact I hate Geometry...just because I'm a senior and the fact that I only have like 13 days of school left and that bothers me and I don't like to do it...I just don't...and that's it...I'm very like that...I have no amibition and it sucks harder than Amanda does...hahaha...had to cheer my self up some.

Do you ever feel that you are losing someone close to you and they almost sense it too and it bothers the both of you because you really don't know what's going to happen to you after you leave...because you know there's a good chance that nothing will ever be the same after you come back to visit from college and you feel bad about that..you just really do...because you don't know what to do and I doubt that he would either and it bothers you...and then the fact that you are still scared that he'll hurt you...and you know deep down that he never would because he just can't do that...but you still have to hid things when you write...and he gets all offended because you don't let him read it...but thruth be told...you're scared you're scared to let him read your stuff...because when you write you tell the truth...you know what's going on in your head and that's nothing compared to what you write about...so when he gets offened because the whole world can read and you're holding out on him...that means a little something...there is nothing I would like more than to be with him right now...I would love for him to hold me like there was no tomorrow...no he isn't all that cute and yes he's gots some bad taste...but he's all there and he's smart and caring...and I can tell he doesn't want me to get hurt...I could never tell him anything about everything...he only knows the good things and it's the good things that count...never the bad...never ever the bad...I wish that everything would be okay...but soemthing tells me it will be...but you are going to have to move on and what not...to be where you truly need to be...

I see him in my present...not in the past and not in my future...I have him in my life for the next 14 days and that's it...he's gone...never to return...I can tell he's like one that has made me look a different way in life...he's seen more good in my than bad...it's great...I dunno...and now he's leaving my life...and leaving forever...when I say good-bye to him...that's really what it is...that's all. I can't bloody believe it.

But, then there are people like Sabrina...that I hope are in my life for years and years to come...I want to beat the odds with her...I want her to be my best friend forever not some childish game that we used to play...she's here with me and she's come through all this shit with me and that's all that freaking counts...she's stood by me and took shit for me...no one has ever done that for me ever in my whole life...I've learned to defend myself...and to have someone on my side...it's great...you will never ever leave my mind...you are my best friend.

I'm on this high...this natural and utter great high...in the next 5 hours I will write more and more each hour becoming a writing and reading machine...I now know my own symptoms...I get very very cranky and then...like that I turn on...warm up and I'm off...like right now...I'm on a writing high and I could possibly write forever...there is no doubt about it...I know that.

I'm out...I'm so happy.