I dunno what I hate about him, but I feel that I do. Sometimes I feel like: urk. I dunno he's super cool and what not...but he's nervous about prom and that is kind of making me angry because yeah...I wouldn't be nervous if I was taking her...but whatver...I dunno...I feel that I dunno I just I dunno...You know...and then today he's all like why do you talk about him if you hate him so much...and I just want to tell him, but I can't. Because even I dunno where the hell we are at and that just kind of pisses me off...because I feel like rebound and I know that I shouldn't be...but I am...and what not...and I know that I'm supposed to stay away...and not be a friend and what not...but I am I want to be with him and I know I shouldn't be because of the fact that he's like that...I mean come on...for some reason you just know that you are supposed to be with someone and what not no matter what...and for some reason I just think that some how someway I'm supposed to be with him...I dunno why I mean I look back at how many times he's hurt me and whatever and that isn't half of it...when someone like that is basically using you to get back at whoever it is in Germany than you know something is wrong...but I can't help it. I grasp at anything any kind of relationship I can be in I want it...and if it requires me to get hurt to be happy then so be it...I mean something tells me that he'll be back and that will be super cool and whatever...but after that I dunno...he just drives me so crazy that everything is just so confusing...I really don't know what to do right now...because everything is bothering me...I mean there are so many people that don't want me with him and just to use him for the chocolate...and I know that I will and what not...because I'm graduating in a month and some days...but other than that...fucking A because everything and what not...like I don't want to graduate with me class...there are too many people that don't like our class and think we are too about ourselves...and it really sucks to be in a class like that...I mean so many people talking shit about our class and that sucks...because I'm part of that class...but I like to think that I'm different...I hope I am anyway because I really don't want to have to be the same as everyone else...as for everyone and everything else..I hope you all have fun at Prom 2004 because that should really be fun...I mean I wish that I was going...but if I was I wouldn't nessaryily have to go with that one boy...but it would be nice...I see us being friends until then end of the year and then never talking again...and that makes me sad...but happy too. I plan to come back...and I really hope that I get everything under control...if I could I would take it all back and go to UW-Richland never in a hundred years would I of thought that I would of said something like that...but yeah...I really wish I would of...and I don't think that I'm going to graduate from UWP, but instead LaCrosse or something...I dunno though...life is moving at warp speed and I'm scared because I'm only taking it one day at a time.