I'm putting this on here because I really don't want everyone to look at this post...just because of everything...here is an edited one:
Yeah...the band is coming home in like 8 hours...it is pretty crazy thinking that this whole week nothing has really changed...and I didn't miss people like I thought I would...I mean that should me something...but other than that nothing has been going on...I've got fake nails on and I'm really proud of myself that I can work the keyboard without hassle...but whatever. I mean I look back on me and Stefan and the little thing we had and I look at him...and I remember all the times I told him I loved him...and I looked at it...and I was like...wow...I didn't love you Stefan...I just cared a lot...and you can get those things confused a lot. And I feel for you two...cause I think you are going to get your feelings really all hurt and stuff...because I did...one of you love each other...and the other just replies because they're scared of the fact...and that's what happen to with Stefan and me...I think he just told me...because of the fact that he didn't want to hurt me...and that freaked me out...because I know now that...well he didn't mean anything he told me...and that just really got me all hurt...inside. Now...he's doing the same thing to Kathy...and that can't be healthy. But whatever...it is kind of her fault...but yeah...so now I'm chilling here just thinking about everything...waiting for Stefan to call me...waiting for Stefan to laugh with me...waiting for Stefan to tell me he loves me...knowing that he never will...because he didn't feel that way...and that hurts me.

Let's talk about everything else though...I mean the fact that I only have two months of school left...until I'm done...the fact that I'm never coming back here...because I've been hurt so much...the fact that half my family won't come to my graduation...because that is the way they are...but whatever...I really don't know...I just sit and think that maybe one day I'll be really happy...that something will happen and I won't have to worry anymore...but whatever...I dunno...it is so pleasant in the library I don't have anything to worry about..and today...I'm not skiping school...

Okay...anyway something else to talk about...I mean ok...need to have a whole new post.