What You Can't See

Friday, March 19, 2004

Oh So Happy...But Oh So Scared

Yeah...I finally told him...can you bloody believe it?? I went to get my books and what not...and then I was like: darn I don't get to tell him today...I'll tell him monday...then my BROTHER Tylor was like: Hey Nic...Nic...Come here...You can have my soda! And I was like: Tylor...and I could feel my face get all hot and shit...and then I was like: oh god Oh god oh god. Then...we [tylor, nic and me] started walking...and Tylor was like: My sister has something to tell you...and I was like: NO NO NO I DON'T and Nic just looked at me...FUNNY...and I was like: yeah...yeah I do...maybe...but oh well. And then Tylor was OUT JUST OUT...HE JUST LEFT ME THERE...ALONE WITH NIC ALL BY MYSELF...and I was freaked out...just freaked out. Then I started stumbling on my words...and what not...and I was like do you get it yet?? And Nic was like: no?? And I was like: okay...I dunno...I just like you...I dunno why...but I really like the friendship...and I DON'T want to ruin that...ever...but I just had to tell you because it just...RAH [I was shaking! Just shaking!] and I just kept stumbling...and what not...and then I was like...but I have to go...and stuff...okay...and I dunno where this is going to go now...but yeah. And I didn't look at him the whole time...just at the wall or my shoes...or my hands...and okay...maybe once I looked at him...and I told him I was shy too...and then I just had to go...and then he went to drink water...and then I heard: bye hollie...and I was like: SMILING SIMLING SMILING...and I went: bye nic. And then I was trying so hard not to run or anything...or scream...and then I got outside and I was like running and jumping...and I went by Audrey...and she was like what?? And I said: I TOLD HIM...I TOLD HIM...I was freaking out...and stuff...I think I had some tears in my eyes...I was so happy...and then I saw Penny Gurl [aka Mindy]...and she was like: you have to tell him [she didn't know I did of course] and then I was like: I TOLD HIM I TOLD HIM I TOLD HIM...and stuff...and then she freaked out...and was like: what'd he say?? I was like: nothing...but Bye hollie. Which is awesome considering I thought he would totally freak out...but his face...his face was something else...he looked kinda worried...but kinda I dunno...shy...and I mean I couldn't even read his face...but still I told him...which was awesome...so then I went to the bus...and my brother just smiled...because I was freaking out. And I HUGGED him...I really truly did. I hugged him...because I was soo happy...because I doubt he would of said anything to me if Tylor wouldn't of got him...so yeah...then I told Karia S. what happened...and she was smiling...because like everyone knew I was going to tell him..and finally I did...so now we have to find out where to go from here...because even I dunno. I just hope everything works out...because I like him...a lot. I really do.

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I'm through with being fake...currently in my secondary year of school having the time of my life. ...just read it...don't like: there's a back button.
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