Okay...so I'm just so freaked out. You know?? I mean how many times have I felt so freaked out?? I mean honeslty?? I just dunno. I mean I really like the guy and whatever...but still like I just dunno...I'm totally freaked out...because well I really am...I mean I thought about this...and I mean I doubt he ever would...but he could hurt me. Cause like he has the power...because he knows that I like him and what not. Becuase that scares me...that really does...wouldn't that freak you out?? I mean I told him I wanted our friendship to be "there" but still...I mean I really mean it. But...yeah...I'm really worried...And I shouldn't...because I'm just really happy that everything is off my chest...you know...like everything is just here...and there and everywhere. I just have to step it up on geometry...and Advanced bio...and what not...because yeah...I do. I really do...I'm so happy. (8)When it all falls down...who am I going to call??(8) No one...but yeah...I'm just really freaked out now...I dunno why...but wouldn't you be worried about everyhthing...I hope...I just want something...I mean I haven't wanted something like this in forever...but now there's nothing I want more...really...I mean...I've never been so shy...and that means something...think about it. I mean when I was in any other relationship...there wasn't anything like this...I mean there isn't a relationship like this...I mean...you're going to have to get over this...cuz I'm going to be talking about this for a while. But yeah...I've never felt like this before...I just would go for anything...really anything. I dunno...I'm just thinking about everything...I mean I know I shouldn't be all worried...just a little bit though. Becuase well...okay maybe not...maybe not at all...but I am...

New Subject
Okay...so it isn't straying from the subject just slightly. Okay?? Well...I'm really shy about everything...there isn't anything that I'm not scared of. I mean there is just me...and then everyone else. I was in fog this morning with my gram...and I was in the car...and I was aware of everything around me...but yet...I couldn't see any of it. I really couldn't. And that is how I feel. I just feel that I'm here...and everyhthing is around me...but everything else is gone. yeah...that is how I feel. I just feel out of it...I dunno why...I mean I know that everything will end up working out...I know it will...but there is something in me that thinks otherwise everyday...but yeah...I'm just really happy about everything and what not...but yea...I totally forget what I was going to talk about...I really do...but yeah...I just think about everything and what not...and it scares me to death...I mean...how many people can sit there and think about everything...and what not.