I'm not pulling a guilt trip. You don't have to be nice. I don't have very many friends...and Hollie doesn't care. You know how many times I've said: When I'm gone I'm gone. That's the truth. There is nothing for me here. Nothing! At all. You should know this. So right now...I'm not worried about what everyone thinks..and I could careless about you and Kyle. I just couldn't. Really...cuz you want to find out on your own...go for it. I mean...if he hurts you. Oh well! Okay...and with me and my guys...oh well. I honestly think that nothing will come of anything with them and what not. It is just fun to think: maybe just maybe one day something would come of it. But oh well now. Cuz I doubt anything thing will come from anything...and I'm not rightly worried about it. I'm really not. I just see everything differently. And change. I hate change and you know this more than anyone. You have no idea what change does to me. I'm seriously terrified of change. Hell...I'm scared of everything. Anything and everything. It is just one of those things. And you...you are just soo brave and so outgoing...and I'm just like: whatever...I can't do that...because of above. I can't bloody help. I can't put myself out there...when I know I really do. I mean I feel like: I put myself out there...I'm going to get hurt. And that is what scares me. I'm deathly afraid of getting hurt. So...my problems are all fucked up and you know this. But, oh well. Maybe it is time to face the facts. We are totally different...and right now we need to back off and just leave each other alone...cuz right now I don't...yeah well I don't know what I want...I just don't want anything.

I was thinking about this earlier...umm...shit...ummm...oh well I forgot. Anyway...oh...this was it. Okay...never mind. Oh...I choose to be nice. Deep down I'm evil...seriously like I'm mean. Not with words on this thing...but vocally...I'm pure evil.