Okay...I dunno. I'm really sorry I even got caught up in anything like this, I mean I
thought it was real...and my friend
knew it wasn't. I know now that she had good intentions. But, her good intentions weren't meant for me. No sirre bob. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you, telling you to fuck off, in fact...I dunno, but I feel pretty damn happy I got that off my chest. I dunno if I could ever forgive you. Ever. I really don't. Imagine you finally acomplish the one thing that means sooooo much to you. Your fiend tells you that this is prolly the best thing that has ever happened to me, and now I will get even farther in life. I told her that this was one of the many wishes I had, that I was finally going to get something out of life. We went on and on about how possibly great this is. How I'm finally truly going to amount to something. I was soooo happy.
This cont. into tomorrow. Again, I told people that I was getting published that I was getting something out of life. By 5th hour I found out it was just a scam. A lousy scam that says they publish your stuff., publish one book for you...then your done...that's it...it is over...nothing more nothing less.
Then my friend told me aobut this...she knew too. But, she didn't want to break my spirit. She didn't want me to get hurt, that was all. But, it hurt soooo much more when she knew the whole time, she knew and she wanted me to be happy. But, I would of been so much more happy if she would of told me there, that way I wouldn't make a complete fool out of myself in front of everybody. I would of not told anyone, I just would of pretened not to do anything. Because that is what I would of want. But, for now I just want to be okay...and pretend that nothing happened. But, I just want to be okay for now.
But, I want to go somewhere new now. I don't want to go to this school anymore. I don't want to deal with these people anymore. I really don't. I just want to not do anything.
later taters
holliejo
Horoscope:
You will probably want everyone to know exactly how you feel today, dear Leo, and you won't be shy about expressing your emotions. Feel free to take the lead on matters, for you have the self-confidence and emotional stability to do quite well at the helm of the ship. Try not to let your mind trip over itself, however. You might have the tendency to think about a certain issue so much that you completely lose perspective. [crazy]
Hollie's Thought of The Day:
"I dunno...right now it is another state of awe, but this is in amazement."
# posted by ojeilloh : 12:54 PM